Christms Spirit

Where are you Christmas???  I love that song in the Grinch movie. To me, it says a lot. The fact that Christmas can tend to be so much about what you got and what you didn't...well, I guess that's the part I've never liked and I refuse to participate it any more.

I love what I do for a living, it has meant for some great conversations and meeting of so many different people. It's through all of these people that I continue to learn and grow as an individual. Part of that is listening to what is important to most, and I must say that I am happy with the shift in what I hear in people. I guess a lot of it could also be that you really do attract what you put out there, so it comes as no surprise that today most people DO warm my heart!

Yes, the commercialism of Christmas has gotten out of hand in today's American Society. The rush to buy buy buy and spend spend spend....we all saw that with Black Friday. Now, I am not condemning any business for trying to make a go in this world, but I want to ask what is it that is important to you. I grew up not liking Christmas once I got into school. I loved the time with family and I honestly couldn't tell you my favorite gift as my memories aren't of things. But I can tell you I didn't like when I returned to school after that Christmas break and was met with the "what did you gets" from friends. As if what someone took the time to purchase and gift to me wasn't good enough. I could not compete with those who had smaller family sizes than I, or parents who made more money than mine...and I was happy with what I had gotten until that moment. It did make me feel like crap and unworthy. Funny how another could control my thoughts like that.  Even just a few years ago I hung out with a group that seemed to stress so much on possessions...and I did.not.like.it!  It's NOT about things!

We often cave to the expectations of others, of society. A few years ago I made up my mind that I was no longer going to be that person. I wanted to really enjoy the season.  Guess what...it happened! I am in love with Christmas again. Yes, I know that the financial strains at this time of year can put great stress on a person, not to say that I don't ever fret about that myself, but I don't let it get in the way of the spirit! I love photo cards, love cookies, love the decorations, love how everyone seems to think of others, yes...that's what makes me happy! Really, a gift under the tree is just an extra.

I was talking with some people the other day and was asked what I was getting my kids for Christmas...I drew a complete blank. Just as with my birthday, we don't need anything. They really haven't complied a list, they really haven't asked for anything and to be honest, they themselves would rather just spend time together than to get something that after a week it gets set aside.  In their stockings they do get a new spin toothbrush, usually some gloves, socks and perfume/cologne and chap stick, ya know, the important stuff. Santa, well, he has always brought a little something...such as a school shirt. The gifts from me have been something functional and not too spendy and I usually do a family gift that consists of creating memories, such as a trip at a later date.

You see, we love the baking, the getting together and sharing good food and remember whens. We love doing for others as well; making hot cocoa mix to give to friends, neighbors and the plates of goodies. We also pick a charity of sorts and make our contributions there, whether it's money or helping out. We enjoy opening the mail that isn't a bill or junk and seeing what those we care about have been up to or how the families have grown over the year. We love the silly fun that goes with Christmas, the ugly sweaters, caroling, food, the old ornaments the kids made when there were smaller, the movies...I mean, who cannot laugh at Elf??  Then there are the programs and the gatherings...I mean we should have these types of things all year long!!

I ask that you take this day to reflect, think about what really makes Christmas special to YOU and then BE happy doing just that! IF it is the presents, great; the music, crank it;  if it is helping others, wonderful; if it's the food and fellowship, enjoy; decorating a tree or room, awesome!! It's all good and what YOU make of it! Make the most out of this Christmas Season...it IS up to you after all.

Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!

Full Heart

Can I say WOW!  Yesterday was so much fun, had to be one of the best birthday's ever! First, a big party on my Facebook page that seemed to just go on and on...then to get all the feed back from yesterday's blog was beyond overwhelming, in a GREAT way!

Yes, I was giddy all day. You would have thought I had won the lottery with the way I felt. Maybe in some ways I have, won the lottery of life. Just to be able to do things for others, see the looks on their faces on how just some simple act of pure kindness brought a smile to their face, man, that was wonderful! To engage others to do the same thing, now that was AMAZING!

What were the random acts you ask?  Well, I was so happy to get phone calls and text messages from those who did do acts but didn't want to post them as they really didn't want credit for it other than to tell me. I so respect that. Normally I wouldn't post about my random acts either, but did so yesterday to be an example of kindness and to show others how completely simple it really is. To also hear you all get excited about it and complete more than one, and then post them really overwhelmed me with joy and a continued love for life!

On to the acts themselves...I love the story of how a very good friend of mine was in the checkout line at WalMart and a man who appeared to be homeless walked up and asked if someone could purchase the pair of pants he had for him. I mean, how random was that for that man to be right there yesterday???  Yes, she did purchase them for him, to think that someone really just needed a pair of pants, wow! The messages of helping with returning carts or helping others with their carts at the store, giving away coupons for food, helping serve food to those who just needed one free meal that day, bringing baked goods to someone, a young lady donating her NEW bike to Salvation Army. To have spurred that in a young child, well, I am in awe! A sister who helped clean up after her sick brother, sibling love at it's best; those who donated clothing and other items, awesome!  Yesterday no act was small. No act ever is. It could be as simple as to just smile at the next person in line. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you never know if your smile is the only one someone will see for that day!

Yes, I completed my own acts and many of you were able to see them through out the day. The two recipients of the flowers that I gave out both said to me "but it's YOUR birthday, why are you giving ME flowers?" Just simply because I wanted to see them smile. Now that is a TRUE gift! Handing out the hot cocoa packets, just fun that was, who doesn't like to receive something? I still wonder if anyone took me up on my envelopes of quarters for a soda at the vending machine, if anyone had good luck with the pennies I dropped and I wonder what someone will do with that dollar in the library book.

Last week I was warmed with the story from yet another good friend of mine. She is a teacher and happened to have taken her students to the cities to volunteer and listen to a lady who opens and runs shelters for homeless...at the end of their time with her, she gave each student $5 to be able to go to McDonald's and told them God just said she should do this for them. Well, bless her generosity because it spurred those students to inturn take that money and go to the store to purchase toys for this lady's homes. Yes, one good deed spurred more and was wonderful to see that work!!!

Now don't stop with yesterday, or when Christmas is over. I love how one person said they want to do this every day, and I know many of you do...keep doing a random act, keep helping, keep being grateful for what you have and for wanting to make another person's day a little bit better. I know each and every one of you will be rewarded ten fold for this...you will find your heart is bigger, your mind less bitter and just simply enjoying a simple act, well, it feels great to feel good!

Thanks again to YOU, you made not only my birthday great, but the day wonderful for others. My heart is full!

Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!

Random Birthday Acts

YESSSSSSSSSS, it's my birthday....and yes, as some of you know, I do think this is a big deal. No, not for the attention, but for the fact to simply celebrate LIFE!!!  I love to celebrate and often don't need an excuse to do so on any given day, but a birthday, and one that's mine...well, others seem to just forgive you for being happy on such a day. I promise, I won't go into the fact that I think it's sad that we need to be forgiven for being happy...that's a whole other day ;)

Last post I mentioned not needing anything for my birthday, that I am already blessed with more than  enough. While gifts are great and yes they do make a person feel special, after all, they are the icing on the cake of life...but I honestly do have enough as I stated. So, I have a personal challenge for all of you, that is if you really truly want to think of me today...PUT.OTHERS.FIRST. That's right, to make me happy I would love, love, LOVE it if you all did just ONE random act of kindness and either comment here on what you did or on my facebook page. Today I am 37 and if we could get 37 random acts of kindness done in one day,  I would say that would be an amazing birthday! Now, I cannot take full credit for this idea, as I did see it on that evil site, Pinterest, which lead me to a blog to where another gal did this for her 38th birthday. I just really love the idea and really want to share it with YOU! How's that for an interactive blog post?

Now, for those random act of kindness...could be anything. We've all heard of paying for the person behind us at the drive-thru or coffee shoppe, and yes, that would work. But it doesn't have to involve money.  Be creative! Did you hold the door open for the several people behind you? Did you return a bunch of wayward carts in the parking lot? Did you ask a mom shopping with her toddlers if you could help her put her groceries in her car? Maybe you went through your closet and took a bag of items to donate, or volunteered to ring the bell at a store. Those are all things we can do any day without it costing us a penny. I know you are all creative thinkers and can come up with some fantastically simple random act of kindness and share it with the world. Now, if I could only capture the looks on the recipients faces and then look of gratification on the giver ;)

Me?  I have this big jar of change in my bathroom that the kids and I use every summer at the fair as our treat money, I think I shall raid it and tape some quarters to the pop machine. I may also grab some pennies and spread them about the sidewalk so others can "all the day have good luck".  I am also working on a "treat" of sorts for my clients today.  I'm not sure at what all else I will be able to do, but I know that by doing these little things it will make ME feel better about the world we live in.

Why is this so important to me you wonder? Well, simple, at the end of the day, I really want to add to someones life, not to take; I just want to know that by my actions, along with YOUR actions, that WE did make life a little better for the people that WE came across throughout the day.

And since it is my birthday and I'd love to share a special give-a-way with ONE lucky reader...I will award one of you with a little treat box, all you have to do is post your random act of kindness.  Now go on, go out and do those random acts...maybe even do more than one, and then be sure to post so you can SEE how the day went. Ready....set.....ACT!

Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!

Thankful for Life

Once again it's been a little bit since I've last posted. Yes, I've succumb to the busy pace of this thing called life, but guess what, that's OK, because life is a continuum and we can pick back up at any point.

This is one of my favorite weeks out of the year, it's Thanksgiving week. I love this time of year for just the simpleness of gathering together to really be thankful for all that we have and to spend time with family and friends without any expectations. I have also been enjoying all the grateful posts, Lord knows there is a myriad of negative out there, so this is a welcome change!

I'd like to say that what I am most thankful for is life. Yes, simply the life that I get to live. I am alive, what better gift or joy than that?  This was reaffirmed within the past week...I was asked by my future MIL what I'd like for my birthday, and then again a few days later they same question by my sister. I was at a loss. Really, I don't know what I'd like. There honestly isn't anything that I need. I have my health, my kids and family, I have a roof over my head, a job that allows me to provide for my family and a great circle of amazing people in my life. What more could I possibly need?  Yes, I know some of you would say I'm crazy and that we could all use more money, but I've seen where the more money or things that we want, the more it's not enough and then we are trying to get more to please more and it becomes a never ending cycle. I am rich, rich in life. I am beyond blessed with what it takes to feel content, to be HAPPY!  I don't need any more "things" to clutter up this part of my life, I have enough, more than enough. I am able to share with others, to create memories and that makes me even happier!

While filling in for one of the gals I work with, her "mature" client was sharing with me some of her fondest memories of time with her family. One of her favorites was the time they traveled to Ireland  together and there were all sorts of "mistakes" that were made that brought the family to work together and allowed for laughter and fond memories to be shared whenever they would gather together.  I want to make those mishaps and memories with my own family. To be able to have the "remember when" moments at the table when we gather together!

It is at this time I want to wish each and every one of you a wonderful Thanksgiving. May you be surrounded by those who mean the most to you and feel the blessings that you have been given over the year. Continue to be grateful and see all the happiness that is within, and best of all, create those memories!

Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!

Hoping for Coping

In my last post I talked about life not meaning to be a roller coaster ride, and I had a few great discussions on this very topic...along with coping skills. I know the world is lacking in those, and once we find ways of coping, that roller coaster is more of just a journey that you know how to take the ups and downs in stride! I personally LOVE roller coasters ;)

Yes, coping skills, something I am working hard on myself and trying to instill in my children. I don't want to raise kids who cannot deal with what comes their way, don't want them to be the type of people who just lash out and react instead of taking in what happens and coming up with a plan of action. I also want them to be accepting. Now, accepting doesn't mean we have to like something or even condone it, it simply means we understand that we can't change what it is, but need to change the way WE look at it or deal with it.

I also want to raise children who don't have a sense of entitlement. That is such a dangerous "trait" if you ask me.  To think that because we can or that we are deserving of something sets one up for such an angry way of life. For one, we are all deserving of love and acceptance. To want to exclude others from this is selfish and to think that we are owed anything is also selfish. It breeds such anger within one that it comes out to others in such negativity.

We all know such people. Look at our politicians ;)  hahah  But seriously, we've all had those people come across our paths, the ones who lash out, project anger and feel entitled. Those are the people my heart goes out to and makes me really just want to love them all the more, they are lacking unconditional love and acceptance.

Just because I do hair for a living, doesn't mean that I am owed clients or business. I volunteer for my community, doesn't mean I am deserving of any big thanks or recognition. I am a hard working, single mom, doesn't mean I deserve a big break. I have the life and people in it by MY choices, MY hard work, and what MY priorities are. See, we are given free will, a way to choose how we deal with things, nothing is OWED to us.  Once we have a better understanding of this, life really seems to flow much easier.

Now, I could list a whole laundry list of things that have gone bad in my life, for starters, yes, I've broken seven bones. Does that mean I just lay there and fixate on my aches and pains...no, I even got up and was a cheerleader WITH a broken leg that had a metal rod in it. Yes, I've gone through a divorce, I've had my fair share of horrible debt and living paycheck to paycheck. My house is not new or full of new, but it is a roof over mine and my kids' heads!  I have three kids who mean the world to me, but are my sole responsibility...for any of you other single mom's out there, you know IF you do the every other weekend stint, your kids' dad can still refuse to take the kids, the kids may want to just stay with you or you spend your "weekend off" working to make extra money for your household. These are all things that make me me, make me stronger and along the way have helped me cope with what ever else life has tossed my way!

We never know what the other person we come across has gone through either, so I am not trying to pass judgement on anyone, just trying to convey that we all need to be accepted. I hope those who are lashing out find what it is they need to feel that unconditional love and acceptance, that they can find a way to cope with whatever has come their way and I truly hope that they can find kindness...people to be kind to them and for them to return that kindness, just because. I believe that cope rhymes with hope for a reason, because without hope, we cannot cope!

Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!

Karma

We've all heard what comes around goes around...which I believe to an extent. While I would never wish illwill on anyone or take pleasure in seeing someone else struggle, I feel this needs to be clarified.

I have seen others say Karma is a B*tch...I don't believe that. Karma does not project the bad.  I think Karma is out there just spreading the love, that if you put good out there, you will receive it back, often 10 fold. If you think Karma puts bad out there, I think you are mistaken, maybe you've just not put the love out to begin with...and when I mean put it out there, I mean put it out there freely, with NO EXPECTATIONS in return.  With expectations come a sense of entitlement and that is a thing none of us have, a sense to be entitled to anything, and that can lead us down a dark path that I'd care not to get into.

Life isn't measured by talley marks on some chalkboard to see who has accumulated enough good deeds to get to the next level. Those who live a peacefully life really just do because it feels good to be nice, they don't want anything in return, and when nice is returned, they are truly grateful for it. Simple. Yes, I know it can seem that we get our fair share of crapola, and trust me, I've had mine and will still continue to have it come my way, the difference is in our attitude and how we chose to deal with it. Yes, we have a choice!

Now, my blog isn't about wanting to change anyone. I accept people for who they are, and can embrace that we all have our place. My purpose when I share is to often give another way of looking at things, just a simple way of showing that there is good out there and that it's up to the individual to at least respectfully see the other side. While I don't expect anyone to jump on my bandwagon or even have to agree with me, but the simple respect of acknowledging that I too have a want to be understood. I think that is what is hard with those who say they are misunderstood, they don't want to understand another, so their frustrations with things come back on them.

I don't feel I am misunderstood...can what I've said be misconstrued, yes, but that is on the individual who is trying to pass judgement on me. That is why I ask other's to explain, it's not a challenge but a way for me to try to see their side. If I ask questions, it's not to evoke anger, but to clairify. Communication is a funny thing since we all have different ways of doing so, but lack of or just using what I call "blanket statements" does not solve anything, only further perpetuates the unknown. Life was meant to be shared with others and to learn from them as well, and you can't just share yourself without accepting another's idea's or ways of looking at things, without thinking it's an attack on you.

Our society was meant to be shared and respected, I feel as though a lot of that has once again gone by the wayside. It stems back to the simple things of treating other's how you would like to be treated, if you don't want someone to spaz out on you, don't spaz out on them; if you don't want someone to judge you, don't judge them; be kind, be understanding and put forth that positive energy, be grateful, once you do those simple things, I think the fog will be lifted and Karma will be returning the positve right back at ya!

So go ahead, put out that good, be nice and see what comes back. Find a way to rethink something that may upset you and ask what that other person may be going through. Instead of being upset that something "bad" happened to you, reassess and look at what IS ok. Emotions are just judgements, life isn't meant to be a rollercoaster full of ups and downs, it's about being able to go over the dips in stride, so hold on and go for that ride, put those emotions in check (seatbelt/coping skills) and journey on!

Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!

Painting the world with gratitude!

It seems as though we are plagued by a society that only wants to gripe, whine and complain...they think the more worse off things are, the more attention or sympathy you get. Facebook world has turned into Gripebook all too often...I have a love hate relationship with such part of FB.

We are now entering November, the month that hosts Thanksgiving. I love this holiday for all it's simplicity, but our society has often skipped this one. To me it's all the more reason to celebrate it, as I think the world is not grateful for the simple things any more.

We focus too much on the bad, the ugly and what we don't have. If you are one of the grateful ones who make the most out of life, you are looked upon in a light that others often shun you for since you DO see the good, you don't sweat the small stuff and you are able to just be in the gratitude attitude. What will it take to let the world see that we need to get back to the thanksgiving in every day life?

If I could take out a big paintbrush and paint the world happy I sure would. To be able to open other's eyes to the fact that we really do have more than what we need, that the things in life that pop up are only temporary and aren't meant to destroy or frustrate us but to have us take a step back, breathe and be grateful! Yes, I truly mean that.

Last week I received notice that my name has come to the top of a list for a fix it up grant for my home. I could really use new windows and doors for my house. I was excited! Really excited. I got all my paperwork filled out and ready to go, then I read the last page, the income guidelines, I made $400 too much to qualify for this deal. Really??  Yes, I was disappointed, but I guess that meant I was doing ok, that there are others out there that really need this more than I do. I am grateful that I do have a house, that my windows are intact and that I do make the wages that I am able to.  Life is good, I have what I need.

I listen to a lot of people, I observe a lot of things, I am saddened when I see those who don't see the world for the good that it is. Our news casts are full of negative, it's as if unless it's bad, they cannot report it. I have quit watching the news at  night since it seems that the news isn't so bad in the morning light. I listen to clients talk about what goes wrong in their every day life, I read all the negative outbursts on FB, and I used to be part of a group of friends that all they did was complain about being mom's and wives. STOP, JUST STOP!

The other day a man walked into the salon...I've cut his hair several times and his demeanor is always the same...happy and grateful. See, this man is in his late 50's and over 30yrs ago he was in a bad car accident; he has a TBI, scars all over him, walks with a severe limp and cane, he stammers with his speech and is unable to work. This man is RICH in my eyes...he has his brothers near by who farm his families land and share from their gardens with him, he chops his own wood to heat his house, he has neighbors who share beef and deer meat with him, he is able to drive and get around. He tells me every time how lucky he is to be here and able to see his nephew's grow up and that someone out there has it way worse than he does. AMEN! If half, just half of the people out there had this man's attitude, I do believe that the world would be in a better state.

I challenge each and every one of us to really think this month, think of what we say or complain about. Think that someone out there has it worse off than you. Keep a gratitude journal, write one thing that you are thankful for on the calendar each day; maybe update your FB with a grateful statement instead of the disdain of daily gripes, or please, for one month, just.don't.gripe! Yes, after a month of gratitude, it WILL change your attitude. I was told it takes 21 days to change a habit, let this be the month that some of us change the complaining one! (yes, even complaining about complaining is still complaining ;-p )

Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!

Reflections

I'm not talking about what you see in the mirror...wait, maybe there is a bit of that too. Ugh, well, let me reflect. If you don't take time for yourself,  you will not like who you see in the mirror. There, I knew there was a connection.  =)

I love my time early in the morning when it is just me that is awake. I never used to be a morning person, and if you had told me 10yrs ago that I would just wake up with the sun, I'd have laughed in your face. But now after 10yrs of getting up to get kids out the door, dealing with an early rising toddler and all that mommy go to work stuff, I do wake up now that my kids sleep in! I love it, just time to reflect.

This time of year I thought would be less hectic, ha ha, joke is on me. I love when the kids are back in school, it means more routine. But along with that has come cross country, which was a new sport to our family, Wednesday night church night, football games, pumpkin patches, orchards, corn mazes, yard work, and all the other fun hoopla that just comes up in life, toss in a few family weddings and a town tragedy and whew...where is the time to just be?

This past week has been a bit calmer, well, sorta. The kids had MEA break, I had their conferences and work, we did do a family outing, and I had a great breakfast with an old neighbor friend. I really enjoyed that breakfast and time to just be. How simple and fun to just go out and share a meal and conversation. To be me, to be able to listen to her, to reconnect and to reflect. We need more time like that...all of us.


We all need some time to look back, sort through and just understand what was, if we don't, we'll never get to the next chapter of the book if we keep rereading the same one over and over...and I don't care what time of day you pick or if it's just once a week, find a little slice of it and just be. With that being said...

Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!

Great Minds Think Alike

They say mimicry is the best form of flattery...I'll admit, it took me years to understand this.  I didn't like it if someone went out and got the same hair cut, sweater, bag, book, or even did the same activities as me.  Man was I missing out on sharing with others then...

I used to get annoyed when someone would copy my idea's. I mean, I came up with them first, didn't I? I put them in action first, I wanted to be known as the first to do this or that. I'm not sure why that was so important to me or what changed my way of thinking on this, maybe having kids, watching how they copy what each other does in play and how they have this strong desire to emulate what their parents are doing.

We want our kids to grow up to be better versions of ourselves, how can they do that if they don't copy what we do, if we don't allow them to follow along? And I sure don't want them to copy bad ways.   I also learned that it is more fun to share in these "idea's" with others and know that people are enjoying the same fun as me! I now see this with my own kids and their friends, I overhear their conversations about "so-and-so had to copy me."  I recently responded with "hey, that just means they really liked your idea and must like you, who doesn't like being liked?!"

I also learned that by trying to be what I thought was an original and unique, meant I was limiting myself on experiences and sharing in things with others. (I do not mean you shouldn't be your own self)   And to be honest, I really couldn't take credit for coming up with all these idea's on my own, really, I knew that I was  going off of someone else's idea or wanting to bring it to my group of friends as well! Not only that, but really?? get over myself, I'm not the first to walk this side of the planet ;)

Over the past few days I have been trying to plan a Grils Night In.  I enjoy hosting things, I enjoy people having fun and sharing in that fun with them. I have a few friends that sell certain things and I thought it would be fun to have an open house for them to showcase their homebased businesses and have a girls night with food, wine and just simple fun. Now, I know I'm not the first to come up with this idea, in fact, a friend just had one of these parties last month. Ironically another friend was thinking the same thing, only her party would be just one week before mine. Hey, they say great minds think alike! Now this does crack me up, make me smile and chuckle to myself, but it does not upset me, how could it when she is a friend and we had both been to a similar party...(timing is funny)? Now I get another chance to go celebrate and have fun with a group of ladies where I don't have to be the entertainer...and I can see how she does her party and put my own spin on mine  =)  Win win if you ask me!

So the next time you feel someone "steals" your idea, take a deep breath and think about how they must like you enough to want to do the same, it really IS a form of flattery, and I think we all enjoy an "attagirl!" every once in awhile. In my case it was great minds DO think alike. Hey, don't we want friends who enjoy similar things?

Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!

Shout, shout, let it all out...

Some days you just feel like shouting to the world...today is one of them, only I am not sure what I would shout. I know, weird for me, but honestly, I want to be heard, but at the same time I just want to quiet my heart. After all this emotion as of late, I just need.to.be. That's OK, right?

I know, weird to see from Ms. Positive-Happy-Go-Lucky, but I think it is important that I show others that I hurt too and can be a contemplation of emotions. I think my soul is telling me I need to recharge, need to be still, need to find that inner peace so I can shine on for my kids again.

How do I do that? I am the mom, single mom at that, and had to get all three kids out the door to school, myself. I had to let the dog out and feed him, started  a load of laundry and now sit to catch up on the computer, but I found myself staring out the window at that wonderful dreamy light from the fall sunshine. I should go for a run, but the time it is now doesn't allow it. Exercise does make me feel better, it is my chance to zone out, exhaust the body, yet it makes me feel so good all over. When I run, I like to just get lost in the cadence of my feet, the rhythm of my breathing, let my mind wander and then that clarity comes. I love that zen feeling! I have to go to work this morning yet, I have to yet again put every one's needs before mine to be successful at what I do. I can look forward to a run or long walk after work. But what about right.now???  I want to be able to feel good about the day.

You can see that I don't like to feel "off" and that yes, I do have those days. Told you, I am human. It also helps for me to write or share if you will my thoughts to get them sorted through and not leave them a jumbled mess in my head...if I did, I would go to work with that "foggy" feeling and not be able to be present.  My mind is wandering to my kids, will they be safe at school today, what is the mood for them with knowing it could be sad for them or others?  How is Abby's family doing? What can I do to help? How can I be a better mom, friend, person in life??

Deep breath....in....out....in....out....calm. Lord, could you step in here?  I can't control it. I didn't cause that accident, I didn't cause another family to be in pain, I can't protect my kids from what life hands them, BUT, I can teach them how to cope, how to continue to move forward in this life.  I can go to work, listen to what others may need to say, I can be more quiet within today and just be present. The sun is shining, there is such pretty fall colors all around us, I've gotten to enjoy an abundance of time with my children as of late, I got to hug them good-bye.  I have some nice running shoes to sit waiting by the door for my return from work, along with a 60lb furry monster who would love to run my butt. That is something to look forward to!

Whew, I already feel better, that pent up feeling of just needing to shout, is gone, (OK I did just open the door and shouted ;) and that Tears for Fears song is stuck in my head ). I will reflect a bit more as I get ready for work and be at peace with the start of my day. I wish you all that same sense of peace and ability to face what may lay ahead in your day!

Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!

Children

For a long time it has really bothered me that there are parents out there that constantly complain about their kids. They come across as though their kids are such a burden to them rather than a blessing. That it as if these children are the root of their disdain towards life and the position they are currently in, it's called parenting. Well, let me bring you to my small town....maybe then these complainers will have a new outlook on their kids.

Our town was hit with yet another tragic loss this past weekend, a young girl was mercilessly hit by a semi...and that semi was not forgiving.  The class of 2013 here in Small Town, USA lost yet another classmate...the second in two years. Now there is another family with an empty chair at the dinner table, classmates with an empty desk, neighbors who won't hear the laughter of this bright young lady any more. Dancing with Jesus she is.

We often look at others and think "Oh, that poor family, so glad it wasn't ours."  But, what if it were? Would you feel horrible for yelling at your child yesterday when she spilled a whole gallon of milk while trying to get her own cereal because you were just trying to sleep in a little? Would you want to take back yelling at your son for him not taking the garbage out or emptying the dishwasher since you had told him three times earlier that day?  What about that messy room, the wrong shirt, that stain on the carpet, the broken window...would any of that matter? I think not.

None of that little stuff matters; the mountains of laundry, dishes, scattered toys, the piles of papers from school, squabbling siblings, none of it, for it means we have our children to hold and love, a life to share with them.

Have you ever thought that maybe there is someone out there that would have loved to have had children, but medically couldn't? That there is a mom out there but because you never see her with a child it doesn't mean she didn't carry one within her only to either miscarry or for whatever reason gave her baby up for adoption?  That lady at your child's school that may seem a little "stuck up" may have a terminally ill child at home and maybe that couple next door that seems to keep to themselves lost a child to an illness or like so many it seems in the town I reside in, to a tragic accident? But a lot of us are blessed with a child, something we can take for granted all too easily.

I am often approached by others and told, "Man, you sure do a lot with your kids!"  Yes, yes I do. I had children by choice, I want them to feel part of my life, not like they are forcing me to give up part of my life to "raise" them. I'll have plenty of time to travel, host girls nights, enjoy couple time, have nice things and a clean house when they grow up (all too quickly), but for now I want to enjoy every.single.minute.of.life.with.them. I cannot protect them from everything or control every aspect of their lives, nor should I, but I do want to create tons of memories with them and help them learn all that life has to offer, mainly to live it LOUD! (thanks Jacob)  I have learned all too well that life is fragile, tomorrow is never promised to us.  I myself was in a bad car accident, lost a friend in an accident the very next night,  I most recently lost a 14yr old cousin just two years ago...I am part of "that" family. If you have never personally known anyone who has gone through this, I am happy you haven't had to deal with it. I don't wish it upon anyone, it is not a badge of honor.

I ask all of you, please, hug your kids tighter, take a moment to really think about what is really upsetting, tell your kids and family how much you love them and they mean to you. Think about how it sounds when you gripe about your kids...some parent out there only wishes they had their child to clean up after.  I often smile at the cranberry colored paint that stains my winter coat...I had just had it for three days when my youngest came to give me a hug when I walked in the door after work and he got it on this coat...I did not care that he did it, it actually made me cry because just the week before me, a classmate of mine lost her young son to an illness, she'll never ever have another of his handprints, even if on a new coat. Thank you Trae for letting me see that this was a blessing and nothing to be angered at  =)

Children ARE blessings, not promised to us, but entrusted to our care. They are worth more than any prized possession in the world and can never be replaced. Enjoy them, spend time with them and just simply love them.

Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!

Pink

I have mixed emotions about all the pink breast cancer awareness products out there. Pink this, pink that, ribbons, slogans, fund raising....it seems like all of big business world has jumped on the bandwagon.  While I agree that awareness and early detection is key; working towards quality treatments, and yes, I'd love to see a "cure" I don't like that it seems to be such big business propaganda and I really would love to know what exactly the researchers do with all that money.

Breast cancer IS something of great importance to me. I have boobs, I have a daughter. But, I've also had an aunt pass away from this disease along with see a family friend who happens to have been the mother to my daughter's friend leave us too soon and just a month ago took Mr. Man's aunt's life as well. I have seen first hand these STRONG women take this disease on with admirable courage. They all chose different means of dealing with their personal path with breast cancer...and the outcome was the same.

Up until this past May, I never really understood the big walks or races in honor of this cause. I have had mixed emotions on all the "hype" that has gone with it. My daughter and I decided we'd go do the Susan G. Komen 5K on Mother's Day. It was important to HER as she just watched her good friends mother pass of breast cancer. OK, we signed up, raised some cash and off we went. No expectations. Wow...was I wrong about these things. You all know me and my feelings on Karma...I let go of the fact that there are things about such organizations that I don't always feel at peace with and I said to myself, "I am putting positive thoughts out on this money and why we are here, the rest will do it's own work."  And it did!  I was overwhelmed with such love for strangers, for women, for survivors...I was AMAZED! The opening ceremony was beyond touching, the SEA, and I mean SEA of people was shocking, the signs, the shirts, the hug a survivor corner...yes, it was all inspiring to me.

At this time I am making up my mind that I will wear pink every Friday for the month of October to show my love and memories of these three women in my life that have gone before me. I want to  remember them as the strong women they were. I don't need a special ribbon, I don't need a slogan, I just want to keep their memories alive in my heart as I don't want their lives defined by some ad campaign, they were so much more to the world than that. If a product I normally purchase is toting the pink ribbon, I'll still buy it and smile in their honor, but I don't have to go out of my way to buy everything that is all of a sudden supporting this cause.  I will continue to run the 5K on Mother's Day with my daughter and keep us aware of the strength we all have within us.

Life is good, get on with it!

Woot woot...it's Homecoming Week!

I love Homecoming Week, yes I do, I love Homecoming Week how 'bout you??  Yes, I was a cheerleader...if they wouldn't let me play the game I'd cheer them on  ;)  All the excitement and pride that is with the kids and parents in our community right now just has me giddy!

There is something about homecoming that brings a community together, I LOVE THAT!  Kids dressing up, making signs, the parade, the team colors, cheers and all the people that come home to see their school play...wow, wish we could have that every week.

Why can't we?  What is it about that one week that people can put their best foot forward and feel part of something?  I want that all the time, not just for my family, but for that of the whole community. I notice when people have something to look forward to they pull together and do better. I believe that is why there are so many fun little things communities put together for people...but the key is to participate. Yes, it is up to us to participate in life.

I am looking at our schedule, and often find I don't have enough time to fit it all in. We had our churches fall festival, what fun that was! Mr. Man and I did the local vineyard's grape stomp...yeah, I was pushing the limits on his idea of fun, but with the promise of food and a GREAT cheering section, he actually had a blast with it and could even convince a few others to join in with us next year. Still planning a trip to an apple orchard/pumpkin patch and needing to find the prime time to take our fall photo's.  We look forward to an upcoming family wedding, more football games (even if our team stinks) and hopefully that hay ride we talk about every year. The local Beer and Brat Night for the adults followed by the Brick and Block Walk for kids, by the time we fit all that in, the days will be shorter and we'll be looking forward to the holiday season! See, who has time to sit and think that there is nothing to do or that they don't feel part of something??

I guess to me fall IS all about homecoming, coming back from the sunny fun days of summer, coming back to being a family and community and time to think about cozying up at home and supporting our town. Yes, with eyes of pride. I am happy our schools see the importance of this and help us parents instill these values and traditions in our kids. I don't want mine to lose that excitement about the every day things in life. EVER!

Life is good, get on with it

Fall is in the Air

Can ya smell that??  The crisp fall air, maybe even the smell of a few campfires soon to be leaf burning piles, the fresh apple pie. Friday nights the sounds of cheers and the band coming from the high school.  Pretty leaves, Honeycrisp apples, yes, fall is in the air!

What is it about this time of year that most people seem to love? The kids are back in school, (ROUTINE!!!!), the air has dried out, the days seem to be cozy yet still draped with the remnants of summer. We have NEW activities to look forward to, yes and change of seasons lets us look forward to new things, beginnings and endings.  Those pretty fall colors, the comfy feeling of those favorite lived in jeans and just right fuzziness of that favorite sweatshirt.

We are now gearing up for Homecoming week in our town, and that always signals Fall is really here to me!!  Our family is still cramming in so many traditional activities, but finding it harder to do so with the mounting responsibilities of a family getting into those teen years. I have also learned that we need to switch up some of the old ways of doing things and replace them with similar, yet different ways.  The pumpkin patch we used to attend, my kids have outgrown so we've found an orchard/patch to go to that is scaled down in the "kiddie" activities yet just as fun to still go and pick apples and pumpkins and take the few silly fall photos that they love. Now instead of being just a family activity, it's branched into "can I bring a friend?"  It seems as though it's still a desired thing to do with their family, but they want the security of having a friend, to know it's still "cool." I can respect that. The best part of that to me is that I get to know my kids' friends and they often become like family as well and we get to share in fun memories with others.

What does YOUR family do to celebrate fall's arrival?  I'd love to hear about what you do and maybe add some new into our fall!

Life is good, get on with it!

Living Loud!

I love to read and just finished an amazing book, Heaven is for Real. It only took about 2.5hrs to read this story of how a boy met Jesus and was able to retell his irrefutable details of this to his father.  Shocking yet amazing along with reassuring all at the same time. 

In recent years, my kids and I have lost several close people to us. My kids' grandmother passed from cancer 5yr ago, I lost my aunt from cancer 3yr ago, my grandmother and grandfather only 13 days apart 2yr ago and my cousin from a car accident 2yr ago. Now the ones who had been sick or "old" we can deal with or at least try to grasp the concept, my cousin who was only 14 and so abrupt, well, that one was harder and still has an impact on all of us.

Jacob was, as my aunt often put, "the kid who brought the noise."  At any family events you knew where he was, follow the giggles or the sounds of wrestling moves. He could fire off a comment at lightening speed to anyone who tried to joust him. He had a BIG grin...that knowing grin...that up to something grin. He also attracted people to him whether it be family, friends or just the little kids from the sports teams he was involved in. It was if he had so much life to live in a short span that he just had to get it all out. He had to make an impact on all of us...and that he's done!

We've all lost someone close to us, we miss them, we wonder what might have been. This book helps me see that what I've always believed that we just transition on to that better place. Now, I don't want to really get there any time soon, but it is comforting to know that I WILL be with the people that I care about again!

To all those who have gone before us too soon...thank you for touching our lives. Jacob, you taught me to bring the noise, to live life LOUD. Life is worth living and enjoying all it has to offer. No moment spent with family or friends will ever be regretted...no picture snapped will ever not be cherished. All that other "stuff" in life, is just stuff, live in the now, don't pass up those chances to live and experience what life has to offer.

Life is good, get on with it!

The Journey

Yesterday I posted about happiness is the journey, not the destination and that gratitude is an attitude. I cannot take credit for those exact quotes...but it is part of the motto of my life and how I view it. Yes, ME, cuz last time I checked, this is MY blog.

I have often been questioned and put to the test so to speak on how I can really believe that. Now, it's not to say I don't have bad days or times where I'm upset, cripes, I am human. I just choose not to dwell after I've thought through what may be upsetting me. I am a person that needs to verbalize or pen my thoughts to reorganize them and put them into a "new light" if you will. But yes, I do believe in taking the high road, so much easier.

Now, getting to this place in my life wasn't the easiest...I've been through my fair share if crapola. I've found my waders, shovels and horses to carry me through this stuff. Naturally along the way I come across those who feel the need to try to knock me off my path and try to reroute me or even go as far to try to chastise me into feeling like I shouldn't be this happy. Pollyanna syndrome, yes, I've been told I have that. Thank you. I do think life is great, I can find good in about anything...but I am completely aware of what is going on around me. I simply choose not to dwell on the negative or "what if" in life. I cannot live my life to the fullest if I am always upset over what I don't have, what someone else has over me, what could happen, what hasn't happened...you get the point. I've broken 7 bones...still able to walk, run and do anything I put my mind to. I have a job that I am on my feet to upwards of 12hr/day...I still am thankful for that job, for the body I have to allow me to stand so I can provide for my family. My job is one that I work hard to have, I am able to make people feel beautiful, not just look good! I work for myself so I can schedule work around my kids' lives.  I've been a single mom to three kids...all the while living in a house and being the sole means of income to that house. I've managed to have a reliable vehicle to transport my kids to and from their activities. Yes, it's been a long road, but I've found that great place. I want that for my kids. To teach them life isn't just a happy pill or place you get to, that yes, you have to work, you have things to overcome, but you can do it all with a smile on your face. To fault another for being happy??  Really, what is the point? Be happy for yourself. No one can take that from you, nor should you rely on anyone else to make you happy.

Now, how did I get to that state of mind??  Simple. Gratitude. Yes, being thankful for the small things, it is what took over the being upset over what I didn't have, thought I wasn't able to have, or what crappy thing happened to me. I also had to take ownership over my feelings. Only I, Me, MYSELF can control how I feel. I don't want someone else to have that power over me. I own it, it is mine. Jealousy can play into this. Now, not saying I don't envy, but I feel that envy can be a good feeling, IF put in a positive light. I can envy someones style to better myself after, I can envy someones experience so I can work towards having a similar one for myself or family. If you use envy to create goals and not to covet things, man, the power of positive outcome is great!

Start daily...find one, just one thing you are grateful for. Could be that it quit raining, maybe it's you got the laundry put away, maybe it was that little old lady who let you go ahead of her in line cuz you only had two things. Write it down...daily, for a month. Then take a look at that month and see how blessed you really were. Wow, I bet you'll forget about all those little trivial things that "ticked" ya off ;)  Yes, people tick me off for a moment, like when dropping my kids off at school and they seem like they just don't get how the taking turns goes, but if I take a deep breath and smile, knowing that I'm paying enough attention to avoid an accident, wow, that was good. Maybe that slow poke who had to pull out in front of you is helping to slow you down to avoid that pile up on the highway or another car that may have blown a stop sign. We don't know why certain things happen, but rethink it and find out something good about it.

Yes, those piles of clothes and dishes, they can make a person mad that it seems never ending. But as I see it, I have a house for them to pile up in, I have a family to dirty them and a chance to converse with them on how I'd like their help in getting a grip on it.  It is an inconvenience to have to get out of my warm house to go pick up a kid from their activity, but I have my child to do so. I have my kids who want to bring their friends over to hang out at my house so I know what they are up to. These same kids still ask to go and do things with me (I sure hope that doesn't change, I know it'll slow down).

I am not the first person to walk through this journey and I know I won't be the last. I am thankful that I am allowed such blessings in my life and have found that way of thinking that works for me and my family. Since I have thought more positively, tons more positive things have happened in my life. You get what you put out there...and I wouldn't wish bad Karma on anyone either, so when what comes around goes around, I truly hope it is all good that you have put out there. Yes, bad things happen to good people, but that just means you are finding ways to strengthen yourself and learn a new direction. Different isn't bad, it's just different, and it can even be good!

Life is good, get on with it!

Heavy Heart

That is my feeling for today. Last night I learned, from my daughter, that a young man (11) managed to take his own life that evening. To see the look of hurt and bewilderment on her face, then the tears was enough to break my heart. Now, my kids did not personally know this child, but could feel the pain that goes along with anyone who may have.

How to explain this to my kids, how to prevent it from happening...how to learn to cope through this. Ugh, parenting IS tough. Deep breath, as I am a parent, I have my kids to hold and hug, I have them to muddle through an explanation of what I cannot comprehend myself. Whew. That is good. My youngest son turned to me last night while I was trying to explain and asked "do we really need to talk about this now?" to which I replied, "Yes, we do. It's not an easy subject, I don't expect you to fully understand as I don't myself and yes it will make us feel uncomfortable. But I love you and we will talk about this, now." There is no good time to talk about such a topic.

While I love FB and all the fun that goes with it, I also dislike what isn't good about it. Last evening I posted "what's on your mind" What was just a simple post turned into the frenzy of "I gotta know"  I fell victim to this. It is a way to reach out, a way to keep in touch, a way to "vent"...but it is also a way to speculate and to bully. As much as we don't want to admit, we've all been part of this. Yes, guilty I am. Last night I had to just turn away and made my kids stay off the computer as well. To see kids reaching out and getting the message that they are out there for each other was heartwarming...so see people speculate was heart wrenching. We don't know, we weren't there...

At this time I ask all of us to take a moment and rethink what we say and how we say it. (I am continually learning this with everything in life) Sit down and have these discussions with our children. Go over bullying and all forms of it. Go over speculation and rumors, go over lashing out. Talk about kindness and practice it at home. Reach out to those around you. Smile more. Respect life and other's lives. Put yourself in an others shoes. Take that added minute to think before we speak. Dwell on the good and find a way to cope and move on from the bad. As parents think about stressors we may inadvertently put on our kids, do not put unrealistic expectations out there. Do not demand perfection. Set the bar high, but go along on reaching and pushing through that bar WITH your child. Take the time to be there with them and for them. Teach that happiness is a journey not a destination. Gratitude is an attitude.

My thoughts and prayers go out to this young man's family, friends, neighbors, classmates, teachers and staff at the schools along with those who responded to this call.  To all of you out there, positive thoughts for understanding and guidance as we continue our journey.
Life IS good, get on with it.....

Endings and beginnings

Labor Day Weekend...always a time to signal the end of one season and the beginning of another. Celebrations. We've had our fun, long days of summer, longing for some cooler weather and a new start to a new season. Wanting change and to move on to the next is a natural part of life. Funny how we can see it in the seasons, but maybe not with life itself.

This Labor Day was marked with a sad, yet understanding of what we many not want to end but longing of new beginnings. It is when we lost a part of Mr. Man's family.  His mother's only sibling passed from cancer. We all know someone who has fought this disease...some buy more time than others. After three years of treatments and positive smiles, Ranaye went to be pain-free. I am happy for her. Now, some of you ask, really...how can you be happy?  Easy, I really believe our life here is only a short stint, that there is something more out there for us and once we are free of the constraints of what is here, we can truly be! Now wait before you pass judgement, it doesn't mean I am not sad or will not miss her. Just that I do understand that there is more to life than what we see every day here. I remember the good, her smiles, generosity, her positive attitude and willingness to find the good in anything and her ever acceptance of what came her way.  I know that my life moves forward and that I can take what this beautiful lady has taught me and enter twine it into my life here and now. If I sat and dwelled on what isn't any more I really wouldn't accomplish much nor would I be keeping her spirit alive. We all grieve differently, I wouldn't tell anyone how they should grieve, but I don't view death as finality and celebrate the spirit's new beginning!

Ranaye, may your spirit soar and be free...free to be. May you always continue to smile and shine upon us. You will not be forgotten and always remembered for your positive outlook and ability to find the good in all of us! God speed.

Life is good, get on with it!

To list or not to list

I know I've been absent for a bit. Chalk it up to me being me...and life just being busy. I need to get back on focus with enjoying life instead of once again just crossing off that list!

I am a list maker and it seems that I have to be sure to cross things off in order to feel accomplished. Then, I add to the list, rewrite the list, re-prioritize the list, and well, it then just becomes another task and seems as if it is something that is just never ending for me to do. That is where I get overwhelmed and often abandon it...only to later recreate a new list! LOL! I have such a love/hate with those darned if you do darned if you don't lists!

Life shouldn't be about the next thing or lining up what we need to do. Yes, I understand that often we need to see what needs to be done and it is to help us stay focused. But sometimes we get caught up on that list and what is next without first enjoying the now. I need to learn to live in the moment and just take it all in.

I feel as though life is passing me by at an ever quickening pace...so much to do, so much I want to do and lots coming up. Upon looking at the summer schedule, we have something going on each month, almost every weekend, and for all Tuesday and Thursdays for two months we have baseball and softball, not to mention every Monday night is Mom's volleyball night! What happened to the lazy pace of summer?? No wonder I have yet to get my garden in and at this rate, I may just prep it for next year and hit up farmers market or enjoy the bounty of plenty from those I know! I've been working on my house...and along with projects come delays and more interruptions...along with more items on the list. Whew! And I wonder why those lists can be overwhelming?

I want life to slow down.  My kids are at that great stage where they get life and can enjoy it. I don't have to wipe butts, they can hang out at home without a sitter and even make their own money! They enjoy mom, like to plan things with me and bring their friends around. I keep trying to create memories with them as my family really didn't do much...but I think that is some of my favorite memories, the freedom.to.JUST BE!

Life is good, get on with it!

Less IS more!

How much stuff does one household need??  It is just stuff.  I am in the process of a house make over. How I wish someone else would just come in and do it for me, because those who know me best know how much I hate cleaning and organizing. It's not that I don't want to do it, I just don't know where to start. At the end of  the day of taking care of three kids (and sometimes a fourth with a man tossed in there), not to mention working outside the home, I am often tired. =)

I've come to the conclusion that my kids have way too many toys, random items and clothing. They don't play with 80% of what they have or wear about the same amount of clothing. I've been moving furniture so I can paint the walls and I find so many pencils. Am I a hoarder of writing utensils??  What about all those scraps of construction paper in the art drawer?  I mean, really, do we need all this??

Yes, I like having things for the kids to do just as much as the next mom does. But as my kids are growing up, I find that it is ME who is having a hard time letting go. Time to get out the tote bins, assign one to each kid and put a few precious items in it that they have outgrown and pass along the rest. And while we're at it, Epilepsy is headed to my street on Wednesday, so Calvin doesn't need 8 green t-shirts so we can get rid of a few of those as well.

Back in January, I played the get rid of so many items game and to eat only from what we have in the house, no going to the store for anything extra. Only milk, bread and produce can be brought in...along with toilet paper or laundry detergent. It's amazing at how many half used bottles of what have you are under the cupboard or in the closet. I think in one day I got rid of 300 items we no longer used. I merged shampoo, lotions, soap and all the other liquids into one bottle of their respective selves. I bet I could still get rid of so much more and then some!

It's time I scale back. The less stuff I have in the house, the less I have to clean, the less laundry I have to do. Oh wait, who am I kidding???  I'll always have laundry and I know I can never have too many Twins shirts, but aside from that, really, who needs all these books sitting on my shelf??  Some I have read, some I've started and other's I have the best of intentions, but as I heard in a great Madonna song, the road to hell is paved with great intentions. I need to get back to the library, that 3wk window should be enough to get me to read any book.

What is it with our society needing to have things? Why is it a lot of us put such importance on what brand or what we have instead of just making the most of what you already have? Why does society try to tell us we need to prove our worth by what we have and we aren't worthy if we don't have something?  I'm going to go back to bucking this society...I want to get back to basics, to make the most of what I do have. To quit accumulating things and get back to my doing instead of having. I think we'd all much rather create memories than to find space to remember what we have.

So, this week, along with finishing up my painting, I'll be ripping up carpeting and getting rid of more "stuff" in the house. I think this is a good time to get rid of the things we no longer use or need. I need to make room for Mr. Man to make my house our home for our family. Less stuff equals less mess and less stress. Now, I need to resist the urge to go out and buy a bunch of organizing items, and just purge instead! I'm ready to take that challenge on and make it a way of life for our family.

Building a Team

Over the past few days, I've spoken about friendship and teams. Well, over the past few years I've learned about the importance of having friends in my life and having them participate as a team with me. I'm tweaking things as I go, some by choice and most by chance. Coming of age maybe? Nah, I'm not that old. ;)

A few years ago I was asked to be on our salon's volleyball team. Man, I hadn't played that since high school and was ok, but mainly played for fun. I do enjoy healthy competition, not a die hard as we know about my post on winning isn't everything, but I do believe in trying your best and learning to improve. Ok, so I was nervous. Wasn't sure about playing because I didn't want to be judged. Silly, here I was already judging myself without giving any of it a chance. I bucked up and agreed to be a "sub" for the team, of which I really only knew two of the girls and only because I worked with them.

I showed up on that first day *GULP* they're all looking at me. Yes, hi, I'm Stacey, yes, I do sorta know who you are, but only because we grew up in the same town. Ok, I'm on the court and a ball is coming my way...bump...oh, it went sideways. Oops sorry guys. Next bally, yep, sideways again. Sorry, it's been over x#  years since I've played. Oh wait, here comes the one with longish blonde hair, what's that you say? oh, sure I can straighten my arms out as I hit, thanks for that tip. Ball again my way and bump...yeah!!!  IT.WENT.OVER! Hey, I kinda like this game and my team. I took a chance. I did make many mistakes, as every single one of my teammates did, and at the end of that set of three games, I now had a few more smiling faces with me and a sense of belonging.  Now, over the years, this teams has changed. We were adding new players since some moved, had babies, became busy with other things in life, and even went to play on other teams. The big surprise came to me when this team totally fell a part. The captain chose to play with her winter league team and now, if there was to be a team I wanted to play on, it was up to ME. GULP! I have to pick? I have to ask? But who do I ask? Well, if no one had asked me, I wouldn't have been playing in the first place!

Just when you get comfortable where you are, life hands you a new challenge. Yep, time to put on the big girl panties, find a few gals that want to play and then ask for a sponsor. So, I had one of the gals from the year before still willing to be on my team. We asked another, and another, and yet another. Wow, these ladies want to play with me??  I had to ask for a sponsorship, and shirts...here goes, yep, got them. Really??  Could it be this easy??  By the end of the week, I had a team, with a sponsor and now couldn't be more excited to start the season. And what a season it was...I think we only won one set, the whole summer. But man, did we laugh, and laugh and laugh! We could come together, no matter the day we had had up to that point, get on that court, hit the ball and just have fun. I'd say it was my favorite season to date.

Here I sit in the same position this year. Have my roster put together, collected the fee's, found some sponsorship not by hard work, but by those who want to play on the team and offered up all sorts of ideas! I am so excited because this team, already is playing as a team! Wow, and we have several new faces, as only half our team is returning this year, but they are all ready and willing to be part of a team, my team. Don't we all want to be part of a team?  I can't say how happy and excited I am about this. I could care less if I won a single game, just knowing that I am with some amazing ladies that want to get out and have fun and make the most of Monday nights this summer, wow, I am the one who comes out on top! That is our first win, and thanks ladies, it's all because of you!

Life is good, get on with it!

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

I always love a great baseball game. How much more slice of Americana can you get than a simple pleasure of watching the boys of summer play ball?? 

Being a mom of three, it's often hard to just get some one on one time with each of them, especially my boys. I mean, mother/daughter stuff is a bit easier to do, and God so blessed me with just one! Today I was able to take my oldest to a game, just he and I. I want to make this an annual thing for us.

Yes, we cheer for the home team. Win or lose, we are Twins fans. There is just something I adore about this team, other than the fact they are the home team. I love watching how they interact with each other and the fans. I love their enthusiasm for the game even if they aren't above .500! I am often reminded by others that the Twins are on a losing streak, or even "they suck." Well, we can't win them all, and last I checked, team work wasn't all about who wins in the end. Someone has to be the loser, and part of life is learning how to lose gracefully, learn from what went wrong, and be willing to get back at it again and make it better!

Would we tell our own children, "hey, you really sucked tonight." or "wow, you guys aren't worth what you're paid." I'd hope not. Remember, these players are some body's kids too.  Now, I'm not saying that sports players don't get paid enough, because, quite frankly I believe when equated with those who give of their lives or hold our lives in their hands, it isn't the same. It's entertainment. BUT, that is a whole other topic and not one that I really even care to get into. Getting back on track, I really have a hard time with those who want to only pick out the bad in something. Yes, the Twins lost today. They had some critical mistakes and didn't connect the bats like they should have, but did that make for a bad day? Heck no! I got to sit next to my son, talk about the nuances of the game, cheer when the going was good and even heckle when the umps seemed to have forgotten to put their contacts in. We also talked about how much fun it was even if they didn't win and it isn't always about winning. I wouldn't want my children to always feel the pressure that they need to be the winner. Yes, winning is fun, but it is an added bonus. Playing your best is what counts.  Maybe they didn't play their best, but maybe it was their best for that day. Tomorrow is a new day, a day when they can improve, to get back out there, face the same opponent and play better! Winning is great, but it isn't everything. And to a kid, if that's the message they get, we are only setting them up for a lot of pressure and disappointment if they never understand it's ok to lose and that we'll be there to support them none the less. I'd say that's a win!

Life is good, get on with it!

The Heat is On!!

Woohooooooo! It's currently 92* here in Minnesota on a May afternoon! Sun, heat, humidity...yes, I am loving it! We've just come off of one of the snowiest and longest winters ever, let alone a super cool and rainy spring. Give me the heat!

Weather is always a great topic. Can be safe to discuss, hard to misconstrue anything about that. Heck, even the meteorologists can be wrong and still have a job! The weather can be beautiful, yet destructive; change in a heartbeat or stay stuck on repeat. Some people's moods are reflective of the weather, other's are always bright and sunny even on the gloomiest of days.  We can let the weather, like so many other things in our lives control a lot...yet it is one of those things we cannot control and just need to learn to dress and act accordingly, as with life in general.

Then there are those that are never happy, no matter what weather we have. They complain that it's too cold, that it's too gloomy, that it's too hot, that they want the rain, it rains too much, they want snow, there's too much snow...I think these people are not happy unless they are complaining, and weather is one of those topics as I previously stated is safe, even to complain about.  ;-)

One thing I take away from the weather, is that once again, it isn't up to us to be in control of.  Someone else has more power than we, knows why the weather is in the pattern it's in, and without the destruction it can cause, there wouldn't be new growth or change. I've yet to melt from the rain, when the basement has flooded it's forced me to clean, I've sloped things away from my house to make the foundation stronger and the bitter cold with blinding snow has made me stay home and cozy up with my kids. For all of that, I am thankful.  At the end of a bad storm, there can be a rainbow and in life, we can find good in almost any outwardly bad situation. We come stronger and more accepting.  I can accept that!

Life is good, get on with it!

Unconditional

Yesterday was Mother's Day. What better day to honor and highlight unconditional love.  Mother's love their children without limits, without guilt, without conditions.  We don't tell our children we'll only love them if they take out the trash or if they get straight A's. No limits on "well, we've already done 72 loads of your laundry this year, so we can't do any more or love you any more."  No matter the note home from the teacher, what we hear our child has done to another or not done in a situation to make it better, we still love them.

This should be true through all relationships; marriages, family, friendships, co-workers, neighbors, and so forth. We shouldn't say we'll only be someones friend if we get something in return. Now, this doesn't mean we have to constantly be the giver or the one to compromise, does not mean to be a doormat of sorts. What I am simply saying is we should be accepting that these people are in our lives, for what ever reason and embrace the good in all of it.

People do come and go in our lives, there are the childhood friends that are there, then life gets buys, but once in a blue moon you can pick up where you left off. Sometimes life throws us together whether we choose it or not, such as a mom's group and our kids like each other but us mom's wouldn't have been friends otherwise and often find that life is so much more fun when shared with another going through the same kids stages as you. Some people are in your life for what I will describe as "for an hour or a life time."  (read that on a city welcoming sign hee hee) They may be someone whom seems so interesting, maybe your kids play that one sport together and you had a nice conversation on the bleachers, or they were that co-worker you really clicked with on a project, someone at your place of worship that seemed to just need a friend for the day, where ever you come across these people, they are there for us to learn from and with, for the time that they are in our lives.

Then there are the friends that only want to be in your life when they need something. These are the ones that can suck the life out of you, they put conditions on the friendship...and then try to make you feel like the bad friend because you just didn't understand them, you offended them by not doing what they wanted you to do or you just weren't available when they really needed someone to vent to! Life vampires. They will take everything you have to just try to maintain the friendship...this.is.toxic. You shouldn't have to explain why you went out with another group, or how come they weren't invited to Jonny's birthday party, (I mean it was all 6yr olds anyhow), how dare you go for a walk with another woman, you mean you didn't let her know you were sick with the flu...ugh. Friends don't care. Yes, they want to be part of your life, but they also have a life of their own to lived as well.  They understand why you don't go out to the happy hours any more, or why you can't accept the after 9pm phone calls, they get when you have 3.5 kids to help with homework, projects, entertaining, taxiing and so forth. Friends just get it. No explaining, no defending, they get it. They don't read into things, don't think there is an ulterior motive, they accept, plain and simple. Life, we all have one to live and we do our best. Friends add to that, not take.

It also brings up the BFF or "bestie" label. I don't like it. If you are a teenager, fine, we get that. Life is defined by your social activities and the people you have in it at that point. Not saying I like it, as putting those labels says to me that someone is more important than the next person. I don't like excluding. But as a grown woman with a family???  What are you hanging on to?? I understand if you say you married your best friend, as it should be, but to refer to your other friends in that way, I have a hard time grasping. For one, when I do see the word "bestie" it looks like beast to me. Yes, I am a skim reader, so often I have to do a reread of this. I find that I did the BFF thing 20yr ago and I have all sorts of people I would call friends in my life, but wouldn't want to label any of them as BFF. How about "my good friend" or "a friend of mine" when describing someone? Ok, I'm ranting. Enough.

I am trying to teach my kids that we all should be friendly. You never know what one has to contribute and obviously God created all of us and every one should treated in a respectful way. Yes, your main group of friends should be the ones you turn to in good and bad times. We all need that network of people in our lives. Too many of us rely on restrictive ways to be friends, ie. the Internet or social media. Get out there, go for a walk with that neighbor lady, say hi to the person next to you at the gym. Compliment another mom on her purse at a ball game. Head out for a girls night of fun with that group you so enjoy! What happened to the lunch date?? Revive it! Everyone loves a change of pace and a chance to reconnect with another person. Try not to put conditions on friendships. Yes, I know Janie has been needy as of late, but listen, if asked offer some words of wisdom, but then also don't let Janie dominate the conversation or the week with "I just need to get out of the house" dates. You can put limits...as these are your own personal boundaries and no one needs to be the doormat. It's ok to cut ties when needed as well, as our own lives are what should come first, a true friend understands that.   =)

Thank you to all of those who are my friends and add so much to my life!

Life is good, get on with it!

Mothers Day

I'll admit, I used to think this was just another day for women to brag about what wonderful materialistic things they received...and somehow it made me feel like I was some inadequate mom for not getting anything "special' from the store on this day.  Guess what, I'm over it!

Being a mom to me does not mean what someone else can do for me.  It means at how I can look at my children and truly appreciate the love that they give me.  I also look at my mom, now that I am a mom, with so much respect and love for all that she compromised for us kids.  She had five, count them, five of us, and stayed home most of my childhood with us.  She clipped the coupons, shopped garage sales, got bags of hand-me-downs for us along with had a massive garden and did tons of freezing and canning of all the wonderful things she grew! She made us dresses on Easter and little rompers for summer; let us play with the garden hose, climb trees, build sandcastles and roam our neighborhood. She was there when I fell off my bike and had to convince my father that it did look like my wrist needed to be checked by the doc. Yep, broken. She taught me to move on with the speed bumps of life, to get over it, no big deal. Wow, that in itself is huge. My mom also taught me compassion for others, to still give what I could, to be there and help out when needed, to not judge and try to get both sides of the story.  She also showed me that the house didn't need to be perfect, that Kool-aid could be watered down and to make the most of everything that comes my way. I cannot buy a gift in the store to show my gratitude to this woman for these things. I can however become a mom to these grandchildren of hers and show them how to become wonderful people. I can pass on what I loved about my childhood, change what I didn't like so much and create my own memories with these kiddo's and guide them into the big world of life!

This morning I had the chance to run the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5k...with my 12yr old daughter non the less. Wow, what an amazing thing to see generations of WOMEN supporting each other! No judgements, no "what did you get's", no side glances. Women patting each other on the back, congratulating for just being there to support a cause, to be a survivor, to be running in honor of a breast cancer patient who did not live long enough to see a cure.  Grandma's, mother's, daughter's, aunt's, nieces, cousins...friends and the men who love them as well, all out to celebrate LIFE! Words really cannot describe the emotions that overcame me by being there and witnessing this love. What a great way to start our/my Mother's Day and show my daughter what she has to look forward to in kindness and love for others!

I want to thank my sister's for the nice cards they sent, Steph for the flowers she got Carley and I for completing our race, for my mom and grandmother wishing me a happy day on the phone and the countless people in my life that did so via text or social media! All of you inspire me to be a better mom and person.  Without this village of sorts, I could not raise my children.

Life is good, get on with it!

And they're off..............

Today is the Running of the Roses, or the Kentucky Derby.  I honestly have never really understood races, but in the past few years, after driving through this area and hearing more about them, it has piqued my interest!  I am also intrigued by the lovely garden party flair, attire and hats that are just way big, fun and out there!

The excitement of picking a horse/jockey, following their story...maybe even placing a bet. Then the dressing up and most of all the HATS!!!  I want a big hat, a fun, silly, sensational conversation starter. Yes, today, I shall be wearing a hat of sorts, along with my daughter. I think it's time to celebrate this at our household. I even went and rented the movie, My Fair Lady...which is an all time favorite of mine, and they have the races along with the GREAT hats!!!

As usual, I think of these things, but get busy with life and all it has with it. I often run out of time, only get half of what I need or just rush through everything so I can fit it all in! I need to make a calendar of events and take the time to slow down a bit to enjoy these! Not every day has to be a party, but at least part of the day should be celebrated  ;)

Life is good, get on with it!

Why is Friday so special??

I have always wondered why lots of people have put so much emphasis on this day. I mean, aren't all days worth enjoying??

I know, I know, for a lot of you, it signifies the end of the work week. For me,  I still have to work on Saturday. Some weekends, it means I will be saying see ya later to my kids for a few days.  And then there is this thing about plans...who has plans, what are you doing, what are you not doing.  Don't we all have things going on every day, don't we share most of our days with other people? What is the significance of Friday night plans??

I find there is something fun about every day.

I'll start with Saturday, since it falls after the day named above. Lots of you have this day off, use it to sleep in, get caught up on projects, plan a day trip or enjoy the day your way.  I do like this day as even though I still work most of them, I enjoy the more relaxed pace of the people that come in on this day. They don't have to rush back to work or home to make dinner, there isn't the need to get your homework done in two hours time.  The evening meal seems so much more casual as well. Great day to grill, head to the lake, take in a movie, make time to hang out with friends. Saturdays seems to be the day to reconnect with friends and family, maybe that's why there are so many weddings on this day!

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!!!! Ah, I do love this day. Whether you attend a church of sorts or not, this day is a great day to reflect and just simply be! A lot of service industries are closed on this day, banks and markets are closed...telling us we all should slow down and not worry at least one day out of the week. I try to make this a day of just family as well. Time to once again check in with each other, take an interest in what is going on in our lives, maybe even accomplish a few projects together. Just live, take it in and enjoy the journey of life.

Then there are Mondays, well, they motivate me. I love fresh starts, new beginnings. It signifies the beginning of the work week, a new start to a routine of sorts, a chance to do things in a different way if need be, or a way to embrace the fact that time marches forward! If you want to start something, there is always a Monday to implement it!

Tuesday...I like it. It's there, usually a day I use to make appointments, a day to not have to rush, rush, rush! In full disclosure, I happen to have this day of the week off. I don't usually alter that part of my work schedule, as I love my Tuesdays. I plan lunches with friends on this day, any appointments for myself or the kids, maybe a little pampering if need be.  It also is the day that new DVD's are released along with books and CD's! A new review to read up on, a great day to book airfare. To me, Tuesdays just say "hey, I'm here for you to enjoy, no pressure!"

Wednesday, or hump day. I know that means the middle, but I can't help but giggle at the thought that why not make it the day to, well, you know, yeah, hump =) Not that I am a big fan of a schedule for this, but if you can't remember the last time you have or really want to make sure you do get this in to a busy life, why not make it Wednesday??  It's also a day that in my community is typically reserved for church activities. I don't always participate in organized church activities, but I do take this day to have a midweek family night. The kids usually don't have any school things on this night, so it is easy to make sure we have a sit down meal together, to just hang out after dinner without the social obligations.

Then there is Thursday...I feel bad for this day. It really doesn't get the recognition like the other days of the week. It's not the beginning, the middle or the end. It's not even part of the traditional weekend.  I think it should be the day we are all thankful for the simple things in our lives. Thanksgiving DOES fall on the last Thursday in November and all. Yes, I am making sure that I am GRATEFUL for this day, each and every week it rolls around.

And now we've come full circle, back to Friday! Yay! Celebrate it...just like every day! Yes, embrace that it is the end of the work week, that you have plans with friends, or maybe that you just plan to stay in! Celebrate each.and.every.day! They are all good!

Life is good, get on with it!

Cinco de Mayo!

When I woke up this morning, I couldn't help but have the Mexican Hat Dance song on auto play in my head!

That's right, it's Cinco de Mayo, which isn't Mexican Independence Day, but the American and Mexican celebration of Mexican heritage and pride, and to commemorate the cause of freedom and democracy during the first years of the American Civil War. Hmm...who knew ;)
We are celebrating this, as it gives a perfect excuse to have a party, to celebrate friendship and enjoy some good food and be silly.  That's right, silly! The world needs more simple fun. Yes, yes, I am well aware of all the things going on in the world and all the political hoopla, not that I choose to ignore it, but I have gone out and voiced my opinions by voting and have even written my fair share of letters; I simply choose to let go of what I cannot control.

Someone once said to me that they don't understand "blind faith" to which they used to describe me. Hmmm, my faith isn't blind. Isn't faith based on trust? I trust that things will be provided for me as I do provide for others, I trust that when I need help it will be there for me as I do help others, I trust myself to be able to handle what ever comes my way, good or bad, and the ability to get through it. The only thing I cannot get through, would be my own death, but then I look at that as just moving on to the next place and leaving whatever it was that was so bad behind =) 

But, how can you really believe that? Because I'm the mom and I said so, no really it's because I just do. Trust. I trust myself. I survived my childhood, to which we could all pick apart and twist into a poor me story, but really I had it good, a house, clothes, food, parents who attempted their best with what knowledge and skills they had, siblings whom I can enjoy life with...yadda yadda yadda. I had friends come and go, some are still there; I had the typical teenage jobs, a major car accident which broke several bones, went on to post secondary schooling, got married, work for myself,  had kids, divorced, ya know, life! I have managed to come through all those things, not without bumps, but with those bumps I have learned who I am and what I am capable of. I can fix a toilet and a sink, I can see my kids break bones and be sick, I've dealt with death in my own family. Wow, isn't it amazing that we are able to still live life??!! 

Yes, it really is! And that is what I aim to do. Celebrate LIFE! If you are alive, it is worth living! We control our own feelings and how we choose to deal with what comes our way. I put out positive and know positive will come my way. Now, how could a death be positive? Well, yes, it hurts to see someone you care about leave, it hurts to see those you care about deal with losing someone...but from that I learn to appreciate what I have, to love my kids and hug them no matter they just put paint on my brand new winter coat when they gave me a hug with their paint laden hands...I still have a child to hug; to keep in contact with my cousins and their kids, as we still have each other to remember the fun times with; to see those around us grow into good people albeit with heavy hearts, but they still DO! How could a divorce be positive?  I don't have to share the remote, KIDDING! Well, I manage to learn who I was and that I could do things. A sense of accomplishment is great piece of mind.

I have also learned I have had to accept what comes my way and there is no such thing as perfect. Case in point, the margarita cupcakes I wanted to make for today's Cinco de Mayo celebration. Found what looked like a yummo recipe and not full of things I couldn't readily find in my own kitchen. Whipped up the batter, and to my surprise, it tasted pretty yummy! Upon watching the cupcakes come out of the oven, my heart about sank...they were overflowing the papers and had flattened across the tin...what was I going to do? Well, frosting covers that up, right? Ah..well, you'd have to get the darn things out of the pan first, nope, all crumbly. FAIL! Wait, they taste yummy, they'd make a great crumbly topping on a bowl of ice cream! Woohoo, not such a fail. Round two, get out a mix and whip up new cupcakes, toss in a bit of lime zest and lime juice, bake, yep, look like cupcakes to me! Frost these puppies, well, the frosting was a bit runny, but have no fear, tastes great, kids don't care, and I happen to have some nice little "picks" I can put on top, no one knows any better! Yay, I'll drink to improvising.....and eight kids in the house tonight. Cheers!

Life is good, get on with it!

Hello World!

So, this is it, I am finally going to put my fingers where my mouth is and write! Yes, I have said for many of years that I have always wanted to be a writer...so here goes.

What do I have to write about??  Life of course, mainly, how to live it, to the fullest, each.and.every.day! SIMPLE!

So much to do, see, celebrate and enjoy! I have a love, no make that a ZEST for life and want to share it with all of you! Today, I am painting and cleaning. Making up for lost time, new beginnings and finally getting my house in order. Yes, it may be chaotic, but I need to get things in order for me, no one else, just me! Ok, so my kids, family and friends benifit as well...but then, that's all part of me.

Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo, one of our favorite celebrations and we are sharing it with friends. As I have been told, "life loses half it's meaning if not shared with a friend."
Life is good! Get on with it ;)