That is my feeling for today. Last night I learned, from my daughter, that a young man (11) managed to take his own life that evening. To see the look of hurt and bewilderment on her face, then the tears was enough to break my heart. Now, my kids did not personally know this child, but could feel the pain that goes along with anyone who may have.
How to explain this to my kids, how to prevent it from happening...how to learn to cope through this. Ugh, parenting IS tough. Deep breath, as I am a parent, I have my kids to hold and hug, I have them to muddle through an explanation of what I cannot comprehend myself. Whew. That is good. My youngest son turned to me last night while I was trying to explain and asked "do we really need to talk about this now?" to which I replied, "Yes, we do. It's not an easy subject, I don't expect you to fully understand as I don't myself and yes it will make us feel uncomfortable. But I love you and we will talk about this, now." There is no good time to talk about such a topic.
While I love FB and all the fun that goes with it, I also dislike what isn't good about it. Last evening I posted "what's on your mind" What was just a simple post turned into the frenzy of "I gotta know" I fell victim to this. It is a way to reach out, a way to keep in touch, a way to "vent"...but it is also a way to speculate and to bully. As much as we don't want to admit, we've all been part of this. Yes, guilty I am. Last night I had to just turn away and made my kids stay off the computer as well. To see kids reaching out and getting the message that they are out there for each other was heartwarming...so see people speculate was heart wrenching. We don't know, we weren't there...
At this time I ask all of us to take a moment and rethink what we say and how we say it. (I am continually learning this with everything in life) Sit down and have these discussions with our children. Go over bullying and all forms of it. Go over speculation and rumors, go over lashing out. Talk about kindness and practice it at home. Reach out to those around you. Smile more. Respect life and other's lives. Put yourself in an others shoes. Take that added minute to think before we speak. Dwell on the good and find a way to cope and move on from the bad. As parents think about stressors we may inadvertently put on our kids, do not put unrealistic expectations out there. Do not demand perfection. Set the bar high, but go along on reaching and pushing through that bar WITH your child. Take the time to be there with them and for them. Teach that happiness is a journey not a destination. Gratitude is an attitude.
My thoughts and prayers go out to this young man's family, friends, neighbors, classmates, teachers and staff at the schools along with those who responded to this call. To all of you out there, positive thoughts for understanding and guidance as we continue our journey.
Life IS good, get on with it.....
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