Less IS more!

How much stuff does one household need??  It is just stuff.  I am in the process of a house make over. How I wish someone else would just come in and do it for me, because those who know me best know how much I hate cleaning and organizing. It's not that I don't want to do it, I just don't know where to start. At the end of  the day of taking care of three kids (and sometimes a fourth with a man tossed in there), not to mention working outside the home, I am often tired. =)

I've come to the conclusion that my kids have way too many toys, random items and clothing. They don't play with 80% of what they have or wear about the same amount of clothing. I've been moving furniture so I can paint the walls and I find so many pencils. Am I a hoarder of writing utensils??  What about all those scraps of construction paper in the art drawer?  I mean, really, do we need all this??

Yes, I like having things for the kids to do just as much as the next mom does. But as my kids are growing up, I find that it is ME who is having a hard time letting go. Time to get out the tote bins, assign one to each kid and put a few precious items in it that they have outgrown and pass along the rest. And while we're at it, Epilepsy is headed to my street on Wednesday, so Calvin doesn't need 8 green t-shirts so we can get rid of a few of those as well.

Back in January, I played the get rid of so many items game and to eat only from what we have in the house, no going to the store for anything extra. Only milk, bread and produce can be brought in...along with toilet paper or laundry detergent. It's amazing at how many half used bottles of what have you are under the cupboard or in the closet. I think in one day I got rid of 300 items we no longer used. I merged shampoo, lotions, soap and all the other liquids into one bottle of their respective selves. I bet I could still get rid of so much more and then some!

It's time I scale back. The less stuff I have in the house, the less I have to clean, the less laundry I have to do. Oh wait, who am I kidding???  I'll always have laundry and I know I can never have too many Twins shirts, but aside from that, really, who needs all these books sitting on my shelf??  Some I have read, some I've started and other's I have the best of intentions, but as I heard in a great Madonna song, the road to hell is paved with great intentions. I need to get back to the library, that 3wk window should be enough to get me to read any book.

What is it with our society needing to have things? Why is it a lot of us put such importance on what brand or what we have instead of just making the most of what you already have? Why does society try to tell us we need to prove our worth by what we have and we aren't worthy if we don't have something?  I'm going to go back to bucking this society...I want to get back to basics, to make the most of what I do have. To quit accumulating things and get back to my doing instead of having. I think we'd all much rather create memories than to find space to remember what we have.

So, this week, along with finishing up my painting, I'll be ripping up carpeting and getting rid of more "stuff" in the house. I think this is a good time to get rid of the things we no longer use or need. I need to make room for Mr. Man to make my house our home for our family. Less stuff equals less mess and less stress. Now, I need to resist the urge to go out and buy a bunch of organizing items, and just purge instead! I'm ready to take that challenge on and make it a way of life for our family.

Building a Team

Over the past few days, I've spoken about friendship and teams. Well, over the past few years I've learned about the importance of having friends in my life and having them participate as a team with me. I'm tweaking things as I go, some by choice and most by chance. Coming of age maybe? Nah, I'm not that old. ;)

A few years ago I was asked to be on our salon's volleyball team. Man, I hadn't played that since high school and was ok, but mainly played for fun. I do enjoy healthy competition, not a die hard as we know about my post on winning isn't everything, but I do believe in trying your best and learning to improve. Ok, so I was nervous. Wasn't sure about playing because I didn't want to be judged. Silly, here I was already judging myself without giving any of it a chance. I bucked up and agreed to be a "sub" for the team, of which I really only knew two of the girls and only because I worked with them.

I showed up on that first day *GULP* they're all looking at me. Yes, hi, I'm Stacey, yes, I do sorta know who you are, but only because we grew up in the same town. Ok, I'm on the court and a ball is coming my way...bump...oh, it went sideways. Oops sorry guys. Next bally, yep, sideways again. Sorry, it's been over x#  years since I've played. Oh wait, here comes the one with longish blonde hair, what's that you say? oh, sure I can straighten my arms out as I hit, thanks for that tip. Ball again my way and bump...yeah!!!  IT.WENT.OVER! Hey, I kinda like this game and my team. I took a chance. I did make many mistakes, as every single one of my teammates did, and at the end of that set of three games, I now had a few more smiling faces with me and a sense of belonging.  Now, over the years, this teams has changed. We were adding new players since some moved, had babies, became busy with other things in life, and even went to play on other teams. The big surprise came to me when this team totally fell a part. The captain chose to play with her winter league team and now, if there was to be a team I wanted to play on, it was up to ME. GULP! I have to pick? I have to ask? But who do I ask? Well, if no one had asked me, I wouldn't have been playing in the first place!

Just when you get comfortable where you are, life hands you a new challenge. Yep, time to put on the big girl panties, find a few gals that want to play and then ask for a sponsor. So, I had one of the gals from the year before still willing to be on my team. We asked another, and another, and yet another. Wow, these ladies want to play with me??  I had to ask for a sponsorship, and shirts...here goes, yep, got them. Really??  Could it be this easy??  By the end of the week, I had a team, with a sponsor and now couldn't be more excited to start the season. And what a season it was...I think we only won one set, the whole summer. But man, did we laugh, and laugh and laugh! We could come together, no matter the day we had had up to that point, get on that court, hit the ball and just have fun. I'd say it was my favorite season to date.

Here I sit in the same position this year. Have my roster put together, collected the fee's, found some sponsorship not by hard work, but by those who want to play on the team and offered up all sorts of ideas! I am so excited because this team, already is playing as a team! Wow, and we have several new faces, as only half our team is returning this year, but they are all ready and willing to be part of a team, my team. Don't we all want to be part of a team?  I can't say how happy and excited I am about this. I could care less if I won a single game, just knowing that I am with some amazing ladies that want to get out and have fun and make the most of Monday nights this summer, wow, I am the one who comes out on top! That is our first win, and thanks ladies, it's all because of you!

Life is good, get on with it!

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

I always love a great baseball game. How much more slice of Americana can you get than a simple pleasure of watching the boys of summer play ball?? 

Being a mom of three, it's often hard to just get some one on one time with each of them, especially my boys. I mean, mother/daughter stuff is a bit easier to do, and God so blessed me with just one! Today I was able to take my oldest to a game, just he and I. I want to make this an annual thing for us.

Yes, we cheer for the home team. Win or lose, we are Twins fans. There is just something I adore about this team, other than the fact they are the home team. I love watching how they interact with each other and the fans. I love their enthusiasm for the game even if they aren't above .500! I am often reminded by others that the Twins are on a losing streak, or even "they suck." Well, we can't win them all, and last I checked, team work wasn't all about who wins in the end. Someone has to be the loser, and part of life is learning how to lose gracefully, learn from what went wrong, and be willing to get back at it again and make it better!

Would we tell our own children, "hey, you really sucked tonight." or "wow, you guys aren't worth what you're paid." I'd hope not. Remember, these players are some body's kids too.  Now, I'm not saying that sports players don't get paid enough, because, quite frankly I believe when equated with those who give of their lives or hold our lives in their hands, it isn't the same. It's entertainment. BUT, that is a whole other topic and not one that I really even care to get into. Getting back on track, I really have a hard time with those who want to only pick out the bad in something. Yes, the Twins lost today. They had some critical mistakes and didn't connect the bats like they should have, but did that make for a bad day? Heck no! I got to sit next to my son, talk about the nuances of the game, cheer when the going was good and even heckle when the umps seemed to have forgotten to put their contacts in. We also talked about how much fun it was even if they didn't win and it isn't always about winning. I wouldn't want my children to always feel the pressure that they need to be the winner. Yes, winning is fun, but it is an added bonus. Playing your best is what counts.  Maybe they didn't play their best, but maybe it was their best for that day. Tomorrow is a new day, a day when they can improve, to get back out there, face the same opponent and play better! Winning is great, but it isn't everything. And to a kid, if that's the message they get, we are only setting them up for a lot of pressure and disappointment if they never understand it's ok to lose and that we'll be there to support them none the less. I'd say that's a win!

Life is good, get on with it!

The Heat is On!!

Woohooooooo! It's currently 92* here in Minnesota on a May afternoon! Sun, heat, humidity...yes, I am loving it! We've just come off of one of the snowiest and longest winters ever, let alone a super cool and rainy spring. Give me the heat!

Weather is always a great topic. Can be safe to discuss, hard to misconstrue anything about that. Heck, even the meteorologists can be wrong and still have a job! The weather can be beautiful, yet destructive; change in a heartbeat or stay stuck on repeat. Some people's moods are reflective of the weather, other's are always bright and sunny even on the gloomiest of days.  We can let the weather, like so many other things in our lives control a lot...yet it is one of those things we cannot control and just need to learn to dress and act accordingly, as with life in general.

Then there are those that are never happy, no matter what weather we have. They complain that it's too cold, that it's too gloomy, that it's too hot, that they want the rain, it rains too much, they want snow, there's too much snow...I think these people are not happy unless they are complaining, and weather is one of those topics as I previously stated is safe, even to complain about.  ;-)

One thing I take away from the weather, is that once again, it isn't up to us to be in control of.  Someone else has more power than we, knows why the weather is in the pattern it's in, and without the destruction it can cause, there wouldn't be new growth or change. I've yet to melt from the rain, when the basement has flooded it's forced me to clean, I've sloped things away from my house to make the foundation stronger and the bitter cold with blinding snow has made me stay home and cozy up with my kids. For all of that, I am thankful.  At the end of a bad storm, there can be a rainbow and in life, we can find good in almost any outwardly bad situation. We come stronger and more accepting.  I can accept that!

Life is good, get on with it!

Unconditional

Yesterday was Mother's Day. What better day to honor and highlight unconditional love.  Mother's love their children without limits, without guilt, without conditions.  We don't tell our children we'll only love them if they take out the trash or if they get straight A's. No limits on "well, we've already done 72 loads of your laundry this year, so we can't do any more or love you any more."  No matter the note home from the teacher, what we hear our child has done to another or not done in a situation to make it better, we still love them.

This should be true through all relationships; marriages, family, friendships, co-workers, neighbors, and so forth. We shouldn't say we'll only be someones friend if we get something in return. Now, this doesn't mean we have to constantly be the giver or the one to compromise, does not mean to be a doormat of sorts. What I am simply saying is we should be accepting that these people are in our lives, for what ever reason and embrace the good in all of it.

People do come and go in our lives, there are the childhood friends that are there, then life gets buys, but once in a blue moon you can pick up where you left off. Sometimes life throws us together whether we choose it or not, such as a mom's group and our kids like each other but us mom's wouldn't have been friends otherwise and often find that life is so much more fun when shared with another going through the same kids stages as you. Some people are in your life for what I will describe as "for an hour or a life time."  (read that on a city welcoming sign hee hee) They may be someone whom seems so interesting, maybe your kids play that one sport together and you had a nice conversation on the bleachers, or they were that co-worker you really clicked with on a project, someone at your place of worship that seemed to just need a friend for the day, where ever you come across these people, they are there for us to learn from and with, for the time that they are in our lives.

Then there are the friends that only want to be in your life when they need something. These are the ones that can suck the life out of you, they put conditions on the friendship...and then try to make you feel like the bad friend because you just didn't understand them, you offended them by not doing what they wanted you to do or you just weren't available when they really needed someone to vent to! Life vampires. They will take everything you have to just try to maintain the friendship...this.is.toxic. You shouldn't have to explain why you went out with another group, or how come they weren't invited to Jonny's birthday party, (I mean it was all 6yr olds anyhow), how dare you go for a walk with another woman, you mean you didn't let her know you were sick with the flu...ugh. Friends don't care. Yes, they want to be part of your life, but they also have a life of their own to lived as well.  They understand why you don't go out to the happy hours any more, or why you can't accept the after 9pm phone calls, they get when you have 3.5 kids to help with homework, projects, entertaining, taxiing and so forth. Friends just get it. No explaining, no defending, they get it. They don't read into things, don't think there is an ulterior motive, they accept, plain and simple. Life, we all have one to live and we do our best. Friends add to that, not take.

It also brings up the BFF or "bestie" label. I don't like it. If you are a teenager, fine, we get that. Life is defined by your social activities and the people you have in it at that point. Not saying I like it, as putting those labels says to me that someone is more important than the next person. I don't like excluding. But as a grown woman with a family???  What are you hanging on to?? I understand if you say you married your best friend, as it should be, but to refer to your other friends in that way, I have a hard time grasping. For one, when I do see the word "bestie" it looks like beast to me. Yes, I am a skim reader, so often I have to do a reread of this. I find that I did the BFF thing 20yr ago and I have all sorts of people I would call friends in my life, but wouldn't want to label any of them as BFF. How about "my good friend" or "a friend of mine" when describing someone? Ok, I'm ranting. Enough.

I am trying to teach my kids that we all should be friendly. You never know what one has to contribute and obviously God created all of us and every one should treated in a respectful way. Yes, your main group of friends should be the ones you turn to in good and bad times. We all need that network of people in our lives. Too many of us rely on restrictive ways to be friends, ie. the Internet or social media. Get out there, go for a walk with that neighbor lady, say hi to the person next to you at the gym. Compliment another mom on her purse at a ball game. Head out for a girls night of fun with that group you so enjoy! What happened to the lunch date?? Revive it! Everyone loves a change of pace and a chance to reconnect with another person. Try not to put conditions on friendships. Yes, I know Janie has been needy as of late, but listen, if asked offer some words of wisdom, but then also don't let Janie dominate the conversation or the week with "I just need to get out of the house" dates. You can put limits...as these are your own personal boundaries and no one needs to be the doormat. It's ok to cut ties when needed as well, as our own lives are what should come first, a true friend understands that.   =)

Thank you to all of those who are my friends and add so much to my life!

Life is good, get on with it!

Mothers Day

I'll admit, I used to think this was just another day for women to brag about what wonderful materialistic things they received...and somehow it made me feel like I was some inadequate mom for not getting anything "special' from the store on this day.  Guess what, I'm over it!

Being a mom to me does not mean what someone else can do for me.  It means at how I can look at my children and truly appreciate the love that they give me.  I also look at my mom, now that I am a mom, with so much respect and love for all that she compromised for us kids.  She had five, count them, five of us, and stayed home most of my childhood with us.  She clipped the coupons, shopped garage sales, got bags of hand-me-downs for us along with had a massive garden and did tons of freezing and canning of all the wonderful things she grew! She made us dresses on Easter and little rompers for summer; let us play with the garden hose, climb trees, build sandcastles and roam our neighborhood. She was there when I fell off my bike and had to convince my father that it did look like my wrist needed to be checked by the doc. Yep, broken. She taught me to move on with the speed bumps of life, to get over it, no big deal. Wow, that in itself is huge. My mom also taught me compassion for others, to still give what I could, to be there and help out when needed, to not judge and try to get both sides of the story.  She also showed me that the house didn't need to be perfect, that Kool-aid could be watered down and to make the most of everything that comes my way. I cannot buy a gift in the store to show my gratitude to this woman for these things. I can however become a mom to these grandchildren of hers and show them how to become wonderful people. I can pass on what I loved about my childhood, change what I didn't like so much and create my own memories with these kiddo's and guide them into the big world of life!

This morning I had the chance to run the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5k...with my 12yr old daughter non the less. Wow, what an amazing thing to see generations of WOMEN supporting each other! No judgements, no "what did you get's", no side glances. Women patting each other on the back, congratulating for just being there to support a cause, to be a survivor, to be running in honor of a breast cancer patient who did not live long enough to see a cure.  Grandma's, mother's, daughter's, aunt's, nieces, cousins...friends and the men who love them as well, all out to celebrate LIFE! Words really cannot describe the emotions that overcame me by being there and witnessing this love. What a great way to start our/my Mother's Day and show my daughter what she has to look forward to in kindness and love for others!

I want to thank my sister's for the nice cards they sent, Steph for the flowers she got Carley and I for completing our race, for my mom and grandmother wishing me a happy day on the phone and the countless people in my life that did so via text or social media! All of you inspire me to be a better mom and person.  Without this village of sorts, I could not raise my children.

Life is good, get on with it!

And they're off..............

Today is the Running of the Roses, or the Kentucky Derby.  I honestly have never really understood races, but in the past few years, after driving through this area and hearing more about them, it has piqued my interest!  I am also intrigued by the lovely garden party flair, attire and hats that are just way big, fun and out there!

The excitement of picking a horse/jockey, following their story...maybe even placing a bet. Then the dressing up and most of all the HATS!!!  I want a big hat, a fun, silly, sensational conversation starter. Yes, today, I shall be wearing a hat of sorts, along with my daughter. I think it's time to celebrate this at our household. I even went and rented the movie, My Fair Lady...which is an all time favorite of mine, and they have the races along with the GREAT hats!!!

As usual, I think of these things, but get busy with life and all it has with it. I often run out of time, only get half of what I need or just rush through everything so I can fit it all in! I need to make a calendar of events and take the time to slow down a bit to enjoy these! Not every day has to be a party, but at least part of the day should be celebrated  ;)

Life is good, get on with it!

Why is Friday so special??

I have always wondered why lots of people have put so much emphasis on this day. I mean, aren't all days worth enjoying??

I know, I know, for a lot of you, it signifies the end of the work week. For me,  I still have to work on Saturday. Some weekends, it means I will be saying see ya later to my kids for a few days.  And then there is this thing about plans...who has plans, what are you doing, what are you not doing.  Don't we all have things going on every day, don't we share most of our days with other people? What is the significance of Friday night plans??

I find there is something fun about every day.

I'll start with Saturday, since it falls after the day named above. Lots of you have this day off, use it to sleep in, get caught up on projects, plan a day trip or enjoy the day your way.  I do like this day as even though I still work most of them, I enjoy the more relaxed pace of the people that come in on this day. They don't have to rush back to work or home to make dinner, there isn't the need to get your homework done in two hours time.  The evening meal seems so much more casual as well. Great day to grill, head to the lake, take in a movie, make time to hang out with friends. Saturdays seems to be the day to reconnect with friends and family, maybe that's why there are so many weddings on this day!

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!!!! Ah, I do love this day. Whether you attend a church of sorts or not, this day is a great day to reflect and just simply be! A lot of service industries are closed on this day, banks and markets are closed...telling us we all should slow down and not worry at least one day out of the week. I try to make this a day of just family as well. Time to once again check in with each other, take an interest in what is going on in our lives, maybe even accomplish a few projects together. Just live, take it in and enjoy the journey of life.

Then there are Mondays, well, they motivate me. I love fresh starts, new beginnings. It signifies the beginning of the work week, a new start to a routine of sorts, a chance to do things in a different way if need be, or a way to embrace the fact that time marches forward! If you want to start something, there is always a Monday to implement it!

Tuesday...I like it. It's there, usually a day I use to make appointments, a day to not have to rush, rush, rush! In full disclosure, I happen to have this day of the week off. I don't usually alter that part of my work schedule, as I love my Tuesdays. I plan lunches with friends on this day, any appointments for myself or the kids, maybe a little pampering if need be.  It also is the day that new DVD's are released along with books and CD's! A new review to read up on, a great day to book airfare. To me, Tuesdays just say "hey, I'm here for you to enjoy, no pressure!"

Wednesday, or hump day. I know that means the middle, but I can't help but giggle at the thought that why not make it the day to, well, you know, yeah, hump =) Not that I am a big fan of a schedule for this, but if you can't remember the last time you have or really want to make sure you do get this in to a busy life, why not make it Wednesday??  It's also a day that in my community is typically reserved for church activities. I don't always participate in organized church activities, but I do take this day to have a midweek family night. The kids usually don't have any school things on this night, so it is easy to make sure we have a sit down meal together, to just hang out after dinner without the social obligations.

Then there is Thursday...I feel bad for this day. It really doesn't get the recognition like the other days of the week. It's not the beginning, the middle or the end. It's not even part of the traditional weekend.  I think it should be the day we are all thankful for the simple things in our lives. Thanksgiving DOES fall on the last Thursday in November and all. Yes, I am making sure that I am GRATEFUL for this day, each and every week it rolls around.

And now we've come full circle, back to Friday! Yay! Celebrate it...just like every day! Yes, embrace that it is the end of the work week, that you have plans with friends, or maybe that you just plan to stay in! Celebrate each.and.every.day! They are all good!

Life is good, get on with it!

Cinco de Mayo!

When I woke up this morning, I couldn't help but have the Mexican Hat Dance song on auto play in my head!

That's right, it's Cinco de Mayo, which isn't Mexican Independence Day, but the American and Mexican celebration of Mexican heritage and pride, and to commemorate the cause of freedom and democracy during the first years of the American Civil War. Hmm...who knew ;)
We are celebrating this, as it gives a perfect excuse to have a party, to celebrate friendship and enjoy some good food and be silly.  That's right, silly! The world needs more simple fun. Yes, yes, I am well aware of all the things going on in the world and all the political hoopla, not that I choose to ignore it, but I have gone out and voiced my opinions by voting and have even written my fair share of letters; I simply choose to let go of what I cannot control.

Someone once said to me that they don't understand "blind faith" to which they used to describe me. Hmmm, my faith isn't blind. Isn't faith based on trust? I trust that things will be provided for me as I do provide for others, I trust that when I need help it will be there for me as I do help others, I trust myself to be able to handle what ever comes my way, good or bad, and the ability to get through it. The only thing I cannot get through, would be my own death, but then I look at that as just moving on to the next place and leaving whatever it was that was so bad behind =) 

But, how can you really believe that? Because I'm the mom and I said so, no really it's because I just do. Trust. I trust myself. I survived my childhood, to which we could all pick apart and twist into a poor me story, but really I had it good, a house, clothes, food, parents who attempted their best with what knowledge and skills they had, siblings whom I can enjoy life with...yadda yadda yadda. I had friends come and go, some are still there; I had the typical teenage jobs, a major car accident which broke several bones, went on to post secondary schooling, got married, work for myself,  had kids, divorced, ya know, life! I have managed to come through all those things, not without bumps, but with those bumps I have learned who I am and what I am capable of. I can fix a toilet and a sink, I can see my kids break bones and be sick, I've dealt with death in my own family. Wow, isn't it amazing that we are able to still live life??!! 

Yes, it really is! And that is what I aim to do. Celebrate LIFE! If you are alive, it is worth living! We control our own feelings and how we choose to deal with what comes our way. I put out positive and know positive will come my way. Now, how could a death be positive? Well, yes, it hurts to see someone you care about leave, it hurts to see those you care about deal with losing someone...but from that I learn to appreciate what I have, to love my kids and hug them no matter they just put paint on my brand new winter coat when they gave me a hug with their paint laden hands...I still have a child to hug; to keep in contact with my cousins and their kids, as we still have each other to remember the fun times with; to see those around us grow into good people albeit with heavy hearts, but they still DO! How could a divorce be positive?  I don't have to share the remote, KIDDING! Well, I manage to learn who I was and that I could do things. A sense of accomplishment is great piece of mind.

I have also learned I have had to accept what comes my way and there is no such thing as perfect. Case in point, the margarita cupcakes I wanted to make for today's Cinco de Mayo celebration. Found what looked like a yummo recipe and not full of things I couldn't readily find in my own kitchen. Whipped up the batter, and to my surprise, it tasted pretty yummy! Upon watching the cupcakes come out of the oven, my heart about sank...they were overflowing the papers and had flattened across the tin...what was I going to do? Well, frosting covers that up, right? Ah..well, you'd have to get the darn things out of the pan first, nope, all crumbly. FAIL! Wait, they taste yummy, they'd make a great crumbly topping on a bowl of ice cream! Woohoo, not such a fail. Round two, get out a mix and whip up new cupcakes, toss in a bit of lime zest and lime juice, bake, yep, look like cupcakes to me! Frost these puppies, well, the frosting was a bit runny, but have no fear, tastes great, kids don't care, and I happen to have some nice little "picks" I can put on top, no one knows any better! Yay, I'll drink to improvising.....and eight kids in the house tonight. Cheers!

Life is good, get on with it!

Hello World!

So, this is it, I am finally going to put my fingers where my mouth is and write! Yes, I have said for many of years that I have always wanted to be a writer...so here goes.

What do I have to write about??  Life of course, mainly, how to live it, to the fullest, each.and.every.day! SIMPLE!

So much to do, see, celebrate and enjoy! I have a love, no make that a ZEST for life and want to share it with all of you! Today, I am painting and cleaning. Making up for lost time, new beginnings and finally getting my house in order. Yes, it may be chaotic, but I need to get things in order for me, no one else, just me! Ok, so my kids, family and friends benifit as well...but then, that's all part of me.

Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo, one of our favorite celebrations and we are sharing it with friends. As I have been told, "life loses half it's meaning if not shared with a friend."
Life is good! Get on with it ;)