Once again it's been a little bit since I've last posted. Yes, I've succumb to the busy pace of this thing called life, but guess what, that's OK, because life is a continuum and we can pick back up at any point.
This is one of my favorite weeks out of the year, it's Thanksgiving week. I love this time of year for just the simpleness of gathering together to really be thankful for all that we have and to spend time with family and friends without any expectations. I have also been enjoying all the grateful posts, Lord knows there is a myriad of negative out there, so this is a welcome change!
I'd like to say that what I am most thankful for is life. Yes, simply the life that I get to live. I am alive, what better gift or joy than that? This was reaffirmed within the past week...I was asked by my future MIL what I'd like for my birthday, and then again a few days later they same question by my sister. I was at a loss. Really, I don't know what I'd like. There honestly isn't anything that I need. I have my health, my kids and family, I have a roof over my head, a job that allows me to provide for my family and a great circle of amazing people in my life. What more could I possibly need? Yes, I know some of you would say I'm crazy and that we could all use more money, but I've seen where the more money or things that we want, the more it's not enough and then we are trying to get more to please more and it becomes a never ending cycle. I am rich, rich in life. I am beyond blessed with what it takes to feel content, to be HAPPY! I don't need any more "things" to clutter up this part of my life, I have enough, more than enough. I am able to share with others, to create memories and that makes me even happier!
While filling in for one of the gals I work with, her "mature" client was sharing with me some of her fondest memories of time with her family. One of her favorites was the time they traveled to Ireland together and there were all sorts of "mistakes" that were made that brought the family to work together and allowed for laughter and fond memories to be shared whenever they would gather together. I want to make those mishaps and memories with my own family. To be able to have the "remember when" moments at the table when we gather together!
It is at this time I want to wish each and every one of you a wonderful Thanksgiving. May you be surrounded by those who mean the most to you and feel the blessings that you have been given over the year. Continue to be grateful and see all the happiness that is within, and best of all, create those memories!
Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Hoping for Coping
In my last post I talked about life not meaning to be a roller coaster ride, and I had a few great discussions on this very topic...along with coping skills. I know the world is lacking in those, and once we find ways of coping, that roller coaster is more of just a journey that you know how to take the ups and downs in stride! I personally LOVE roller coasters ;)
Yes, coping skills, something I am working hard on myself and trying to instill in my children. I don't want to raise kids who cannot deal with what comes their way, don't want them to be the type of people who just lash out and react instead of taking in what happens and coming up with a plan of action. I also want them to be accepting. Now, accepting doesn't mean we have to like something or even condone it, it simply means we understand that we can't change what it is, but need to change the way WE look at it or deal with it.
I also want to raise children who don't have a sense of entitlement. That is such a dangerous "trait" if you ask me. To think that because we can or that we are deserving of something sets one up for such an angry way of life. For one, we are all deserving of love and acceptance. To want to exclude others from this is selfish and to think that we are owed anything is also selfish. It breeds such anger within one that it comes out to others in such negativity.
We all know such people. Look at our politicians ;) hahah But seriously, we've all had those people come across our paths, the ones who lash out, project anger and feel entitled. Those are the people my heart goes out to and makes me really just want to love them all the more, they are lacking unconditional love and acceptance.
Just because I do hair for a living, doesn't mean that I am owed clients or business. I volunteer for my community, doesn't mean I am deserving of any big thanks or recognition. I am a hard working, single mom, doesn't mean I deserve a big break. I have the life and people in it by MY choices, MY hard work, and what MY priorities are. See, we are given free will, a way to choose how we deal with things, nothing is OWED to us. Once we have a better understanding of this, life really seems to flow much easier.
Now, I could list a whole laundry list of things that have gone bad in my life, for starters, yes, I've broken seven bones. Does that mean I just lay there and fixate on my aches and pains...no, I even got up and was a cheerleader WITH a broken leg that had a metal rod in it. Yes, I've gone through a divorce, I've had my fair share of horrible debt and living paycheck to paycheck. My house is not new or full of new, but it is a roof over mine and my kids' heads! I have three kids who mean the world to me, but are my sole responsibility...for any of you other single mom's out there, you know IF you do the every other weekend stint, your kids' dad can still refuse to take the kids, the kids may want to just stay with you or you spend your "weekend off" working to make extra money for your household. These are all things that make me me, make me stronger and along the way have helped me cope with what ever else life has tossed my way!
We never know what the other person we come across has gone through either, so I am not trying to pass judgement on anyone, just trying to convey that we all need to be accepted. I hope those who are lashing out find what it is they need to feel that unconditional love and acceptance, that they can find a way to cope with whatever has come their way and I truly hope that they can find kindness...people to be kind to them and for them to return that kindness, just because. I believe that cope rhymes with hope for a reason, because without hope, we cannot cope!
Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!
Yes, coping skills, something I am working hard on myself and trying to instill in my children. I don't want to raise kids who cannot deal with what comes their way, don't want them to be the type of people who just lash out and react instead of taking in what happens and coming up with a plan of action. I also want them to be accepting. Now, accepting doesn't mean we have to like something or even condone it, it simply means we understand that we can't change what it is, but need to change the way WE look at it or deal with it.
I also want to raise children who don't have a sense of entitlement. That is such a dangerous "trait" if you ask me. To think that because we can or that we are deserving of something sets one up for such an angry way of life. For one, we are all deserving of love and acceptance. To want to exclude others from this is selfish and to think that we are owed anything is also selfish. It breeds such anger within one that it comes out to others in such negativity.
We all know such people. Look at our politicians ;) hahah But seriously, we've all had those people come across our paths, the ones who lash out, project anger and feel entitled. Those are the people my heart goes out to and makes me really just want to love them all the more, they are lacking unconditional love and acceptance.
Just because I do hair for a living, doesn't mean that I am owed clients or business. I volunteer for my community, doesn't mean I am deserving of any big thanks or recognition. I am a hard working, single mom, doesn't mean I deserve a big break. I have the life and people in it by MY choices, MY hard work, and what MY priorities are. See, we are given free will, a way to choose how we deal with things, nothing is OWED to us. Once we have a better understanding of this, life really seems to flow much easier.
Now, I could list a whole laundry list of things that have gone bad in my life, for starters, yes, I've broken seven bones. Does that mean I just lay there and fixate on my aches and pains...no, I even got up and was a cheerleader WITH a broken leg that had a metal rod in it. Yes, I've gone through a divorce, I've had my fair share of horrible debt and living paycheck to paycheck. My house is not new or full of new, but it is a roof over mine and my kids' heads! I have three kids who mean the world to me, but are my sole responsibility...for any of you other single mom's out there, you know IF you do the every other weekend stint, your kids' dad can still refuse to take the kids, the kids may want to just stay with you or you spend your "weekend off" working to make extra money for your household. These are all things that make me me, make me stronger and along the way have helped me cope with what ever else life has tossed my way!
We never know what the other person we come across has gone through either, so I am not trying to pass judgement on anyone, just trying to convey that we all need to be accepted. I hope those who are lashing out find what it is they need to feel that unconditional love and acceptance, that they can find a way to cope with whatever has come their way and I truly hope that they can find kindness...people to be kind to them and for them to return that kindness, just because. I believe that cope rhymes with hope for a reason, because without hope, we cannot cope!
Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Karma
We've all heard what comes around goes around...which I believe to an extent. While I would never wish illwill on anyone or take pleasure in seeing someone else struggle, I feel this needs to be clarified.
I have seen others say Karma is a B*tch...I don't believe that. Karma does not project the bad. I think Karma is out there just spreading the love, that if you put good out there, you will receive it back, often 10 fold. If you think Karma puts bad out there, I think you are mistaken, maybe you've just not put the love out to begin with...and when I mean put it out there, I mean put it out there freely, with NO EXPECTATIONS in return. With expectations come a sense of entitlement and that is a thing none of us have, a sense to be entitled to anything, and that can lead us down a dark path that I'd care not to get into.
Life isn't measured by talley marks on some chalkboard to see who has accumulated enough good deeds to get to the next level. Those who live a peacefully life really just do because it feels good to be nice, they don't want anything in return, and when nice is returned, they are truly grateful for it. Simple. Yes, I know it can seem that we get our fair share of crapola, and trust me, I've had mine and will still continue to have it come my way, the difference is in our attitude and how we chose to deal with it. Yes, we have a choice!
Now, my blog isn't about wanting to change anyone. I accept people for who they are, and can embrace that we all have our place. My purpose when I share is to often give another way of looking at things, just a simple way of showing that there is good out there and that it's up to the individual to at least respectfully see the other side. While I don't expect anyone to jump on my bandwagon or even have to agree with me, but the simple respect of acknowledging that I too have a want to be understood. I think that is what is hard with those who say they are misunderstood, they don't want to understand another, so their frustrations with things come back on them.
I don't feel I am misunderstood...can what I've said be misconstrued, yes, but that is on the individual who is trying to pass judgement on me. That is why I ask other's to explain, it's not a challenge but a way for me to try to see their side. If I ask questions, it's not to evoke anger, but to clairify. Communication is a funny thing since we all have different ways of doing so, but lack of or just using what I call "blanket statements" does not solve anything, only further perpetuates the unknown. Life was meant to be shared with others and to learn from them as well, and you can't just share yourself without accepting another's idea's or ways of looking at things, without thinking it's an attack on you.
Our society was meant to be shared and respected, I feel as though a lot of that has once again gone by the wayside. It stems back to the simple things of treating other's how you would like to be treated, if you don't want someone to spaz out on you, don't spaz out on them; if you don't want someone to judge you, don't judge them; be kind, be understanding and put forth that positive energy, be grateful, once you do those simple things, I think the fog will be lifted and Karma will be returning the positve right back at ya!
So go ahead, put out that good, be nice and see what comes back. Find a way to rethink something that may upset you and ask what that other person may be going through. Instead of being upset that something "bad" happened to you, reassess and look at what IS ok. Emotions are just judgements, life isn't meant to be a rollercoaster full of ups and downs, it's about being able to go over the dips in stride, so hold on and go for that ride, put those emotions in check (seatbelt/coping skills) and journey on!
Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!
I have seen others say Karma is a B*tch...I don't believe that. Karma does not project the bad. I think Karma is out there just spreading the love, that if you put good out there, you will receive it back, often 10 fold. If you think Karma puts bad out there, I think you are mistaken, maybe you've just not put the love out to begin with...and when I mean put it out there, I mean put it out there freely, with NO EXPECTATIONS in return. With expectations come a sense of entitlement and that is a thing none of us have, a sense to be entitled to anything, and that can lead us down a dark path that I'd care not to get into.
Life isn't measured by talley marks on some chalkboard to see who has accumulated enough good deeds to get to the next level. Those who live a peacefully life really just do because it feels good to be nice, they don't want anything in return, and when nice is returned, they are truly grateful for it. Simple. Yes, I know it can seem that we get our fair share of crapola, and trust me, I've had mine and will still continue to have it come my way, the difference is in our attitude and how we chose to deal with it. Yes, we have a choice!
Now, my blog isn't about wanting to change anyone. I accept people for who they are, and can embrace that we all have our place. My purpose when I share is to often give another way of looking at things, just a simple way of showing that there is good out there and that it's up to the individual to at least respectfully see the other side. While I don't expect anyone to jump on my bandwagon or even have to agree with me, but the simple respect of acknowledging that I too have a want to be understood. I think that is what is hard with those who say they are misunderstood, they don't want to understand another, so their frustrations with things come back on them.
I don't feel I am misunderstood...can what I've said be misconstrued, yes, but that is on the individual who is trying to pass judgement on me. That is why I ask other's to explain, it's not a challenge but a way for me to try to see their side. If I ask questions, it's not to evoke anger, but to clairify. Communication is a funny thing since we all have different ways of doing so, but lack of or just using what I call "blanket statements" does not solve anything, only further perpetuates the unknown. Life was meant to be shared with others and to learn from them as well, and you can't just share yourself without accepting another's idea's or ways of looking at things, without thinking it's an attack on you.
Our society was meant to be shared and respected, I feel as though a lot of that has once again gone by the wayside. It stems back to the simple things of treating other's how you would like to be treated, if you don't want someone to spaz out on you, don't spaz out on them; if you don't want someone to judge you, don't judge them; be kind, be understanding and put forth that positive energy, be grateful, once you do those simple things, I think the fog will be lifted and Karma will be returning the positve right back at ya!
So go ahead, put out that good, be nice and see what comes back. Find a way to rethink something that may upset you and ask what that other person may be going through. Instead of being upset that something "bad" happened to you, reassess and look at what IS ok. Emotions are just judgements, life isn't meant to be a rollercoaster full of ups and downs, it's about being able to go over the dips in stride, so hold on and go for that ride, put those emotions in check (seatbelt/coping skills) and journey on!
Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Painting the world with gratitude!
It seems as though we are plagued by a society that only wants to gripe, whine and complain...they think the more worse off things are, the more attention or sympathy you get. Facebook world has turned into Gripebook all too often...I have a love hate relationship with such part of FB.
We are now entering November, the month that hosts Thanksgiving. I love this holiday for all it's simplicity, but our society has often skipped this one. To me it's all the more reason to celebrate it, as I think the world is not grateful for the simple things any more.
We focus too much on the bad, the ugly and what we don't have. If you are one of the grateful ones who make the most out of life, you are looked upon in a light that others often shun you for since you DO see the good, you don't sweat the small stuff and you are able to just be in the gratitude attitude. What will it take to let the world see that we need to get back to the thanksgiving in every day life?
If I could take out a big paintbrush and paint the world happy I sure would. To be able to open other's eyes to the fact that we really do have more than what we need, that the things in life that pop up are only temporary and aren't meant to destroy or frustrate us but to have us take a step back, breathe and be grateful! Yes, I truly mean that.
Last week I received notice that my name has come to the top of a list for a fix it up grant for my home. I could really use new windows and doors for my house. I was excited! Really excited. I got all my paperwork filled out and ready to go, then I read the last page, the income guidelines, I made $400 too much to qualify for this deal. Really?? Yes, I was disappointed, but I guess that meant I was doing ok, that there are others out there that really need this more than I do. I am grateful that I do have a house, that my windows are intact and that I do make the wages that I am able to. Life is good, I have what I need.
I listen to a lot of people, I observe a lot of things, I am saddened when I see those who don't see the world for the good that it is. Our news casts are full of negative, it's as if unless it's bad, they cannot report it. I have quit watching the news at night since it seems that the news isn't so bad in the morning light. I listen to clients talk about what goes wrong in their every day life, I read all the negative outbursts on FB, and I used to be part of a group of friends that all they did was complain about being mom's and wives. STOP, JUST STOP!
The other day a man walked into the salon...I've cut his hair several times and his demeanor is always the same...happy and grateful. See, this man is in his late 50's and over 30yrs ago he was in a bad car accident; he has a TBI, scars all over him, walks with a severe limp and cane, he stammers with his speech and is unable to work. This man is RICH in my eyes...he has his brothers near by who farm his families land and share from their gardens with him, he chops his own wood to heat his house, he has neighbors who share beef and deer meat with him, he is able to drive and get around. He tells me every time how lucky he is to be here and able to see his nephew's grow up and that someone out there has it way worse than he does. AMEN! If half, just half of the people out there had this man's attitude, I do believe that the world would be in a better state.
I challenge each and every one of us to really think this month, think of what we say or complain about. Think that someone out there has it worse off than you. Keep a gratitude journal, write one thing that you are thankful for on the calendar each day; maybe update your FB with a grateful statement instead of the disdain of daily gripes, or please, for one month, just.don't.gripe! Yes, after a month of gratitude, it WILL change your attitude. I was told it takes 21 days to change a habit, let this be the month that some of us change the complaining one! (yes, even complaining about complaining is still complaining ;-p )
Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!
We are now entering November, the month that hosts Thanksgiving. I love this holiday for all it's simplicity, but our society has often skipped this one. To me it's all the more reason to celebrate it, as I think the world is not grateful for the simple things any more.
We focus too much on the bad, the ugly and what we don't have. If you are one of the grateful ones who make the most out of life, you are looked upon in a light that others often shun you for since you DO see the good, you don't sweat the small stuff and you are able to just be in the gratitude attitude. What will it take to let the world see that we need to get back to the thanksgiving in every day life?
If I could take out a big paintbrush and paint the world happy I sure would. To be able to open other's eyes to the fact that we really do have more than what we need, that the things in life that pop up are only temporary and aren't meant to destroy or frustrate us but to have us take a step back, breathe and be grateful! Yes, I truly mean that.
Last week I received notice that my name has come to the top of a list for a fix it up grant for my home. I could really use new windows and doors for my house. I was excited! Really excited. I got all my paperwork filled out and ready to go, then I read the last page, the income guidelines, I made $400 too much to qualify for this deal. Really?? Yes, I was disappointed, but I guess that meant I was doing ok, that there are others out there that really need this more than I do. I am grateful that I do have a house, that my windows are intact and that I do make the wages that I am able to. Life is good, I have what I need.
I listen to a lot of people, I observe a lot of things, I am saddened when I see those who don't see the world for the good that it is. Our news casts are full of negative, it's as if unless it's bad, they cannot report it. I have quit watching the news at night since it seems that the news isn't so bad in the morning light. I listen to clients talk about what goes wrong in their every day life, I read all the negative outbursts on FB, and I used to be part of a group of friends that all they did was complain about being mom's and wives. STOP, JUST STOP!
The other day a man walked into the salon...I've cut his hair several times and his demeanor is always the same...happy and grateful. See, this man is in his late 50's and over 30yrs ago he was in a bad car accident; he has a TBI, scars all over him, walks with a severe limp and cane, he stammers with his speech and is unable to work. This man is RICH in my eyes...he has his brothers near by who farm his families land and share from their gardens with him, he chops his own wood to heat his house, he has neighbors who share beef and deer meat with him, he is able to drive and get around. He tells me every time how lucky he is to be here and able to see his nephew's grow up and that someone out there has it way worse than he does. AMEN! If half, just half of the people out there had this man's attitude, I do believe that the world would be in a better state.
I challenge each and every one of us to really think this month, think of what we say or complain about. Think that someone out there has it worse off than you. Keep a gratitude journal, write one thing that you are thankful for on the calendar each day; maybe update your FB with a grateful statement instead of the disdain of daily gripes, or please, for one month, just.don't.gripe! Yes, after a month of gratitude, it WILL change your attitude. I was told it takes 21 days to change a habit, let this be the month that some of us change the complaining one! (yes, even complaining about complaining is still complaining ;-p )
Life is good, get on with it, live it LOUD!
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